so, there was a post here about men bonding over doing things vs women bonding over talking, there was a lot of discussion about whether this was good or not and the fact that there seemed to be a lot of push for men to be like women in a lot of ways, including how we socialize, wich seems to be pretty accurate in my opinion and i would even extend it to dating, tho i guess that could be for another post.

the point of this post is to ask about alternatives or explanations about this whole male socializing thing, on one hand because from what i get there is black-and-white thinking on this (as in we as men only bond over shared activities like sports or men should always do small talk and talk about feelings) but also because i have gotten mixed results from both approaches: nothing happening with other people while or after doing a group activity despite trying to talk and keep contact, and really unfulfilling conversations (especially with women) despite trying to open up and stuff like that.

so maybe im seeing this too much thru the lents of my own "failures", seeing this as more reductive that it has to be or im just socializing in a sub-uptimal way, but i what im trying to say is that none of these two approaches worked for me, dont necessarily want advice on this but i do want to know if more men feel this way and what experiences have you guys had when building your social lives.