I have been in a really good place for the last month or so. I am looking forward with optimism and excitement. I have accepted that the marriage and relationship is over.

Except for today. Today the negotiation phase of grief has invited itself over. I started reading “Divorce Panic: A Guide For Men Starting Over.” I recognize my contributions to the downfall and feel like I can accurately communicate them. Maybe its because its been 9 months since she said she wants a divorce, yet still hasn’t filed. My grief is saying “Maybe if you communicate to her like you’ve learned, she’ll agree to work on the marriage and things will be ok.” I know its a crock of shit. I know.

This just fucking sucks guys.