I’d really appreciate any information relating to divorce in Scotland. 3 kids 4, 10 and 10. Our relationship has been unstable and volatile for years. Times when it’s good it’s good, but they are fewer and far between these days. Separate rooms for a few years. In my eyes she’s just unhappy with life in general and it’s taken out on my when we discuss any “hot” topic. She seems to fly into a rage, will shout, make extreme statements. I repeatedly ask her not to raise her voice because of the kids but it happens every time. She’s threatened divorce many times now over the years. Each time I’ve said no, it’s better for us all to work it out, etc etc. But I’m worn down by it. I don’t see her behaviour as indicative of a real will to improve us.

I need to figure some things out now. I work full time, but she gave up her work 11 years ago to look after the kids, a housewife effectively. She’s become increasingly disenfranchised with this setup. She’s spoken of going back to work for years but lately thinks there’s nothing locally and that working in the city would potentially incur more costs (once childcare factored in, transport etc etc). Not much family support nearby. Have quite a big mortgage on the house.

What do I do? My wish has always been that it’s worked out but it’s seemingly increasingly unlikely and I’m increasingly worried about the effects of the arguments on the kids. Plus I’m miserable a lot of the time, and she must be too. Im scared of the future here. Some specific questions:

  1. If we separate, can I get 50:50 for the kids?
  2. Would she be able to take them away somewhere? Ideally I’d like to keep them at the same school but could she move their school? Perhaps because she says she has to move to find work?

Thanks!