Do you actually need a father to raise a child?

MrSaturn33 · 2023-09-15T04:22:17+00:00

She likely got "pushback" for her pro-father book because of Feminists. Feminists are hostile to the notion that boys need a father basically because they're apologists for irresponsible destructive selfish single mothers who often lie and demonize their children's father to them, use the system against the father to make them pay child support or at worst make it impossible to see their children or imprison them, and generally can push away the father from the kids and make his life a living hell. Feminists do this because their purpose is to make the life of women in the developed world as easy and luxurious as possible and let them get away with as much as possible, no matter how much this is to the detriment of men and their children.

My father was not in the picture (although that was his fault and he abandoned me, like moved to China when I was 7 years old type of abandonment, this literally is what occurred) and my single mother falsely slandered and demonized him to me and told me lies about him growing up so I'm really in the position to talk about this.

MembershipWooden6160 · 2023-09-15T02:32:03+00:00

"The deadbeat dad is such a meme in sitcoms and cartoons now that it's no surprise men don't feel they have a role in child rearing" - I lost my will to even watch it after reading this. Look, society refuses to look into the truth that things we find NORMAL are defined on what we're conditioned and what our current surrounding creates.

I.e. Children expect their parents to present them with a good suitor in India, even if they themselves are 20+ or even 30+ y/o, have jobs and also manage to live on their own. And they'll likely accept their suitor that the parent thinks is "good for them", even if they don't really agree about it. They are also compatible with 95%+ potential suitors and both parties try to blend it to make it work. But that's due to whole conditioning - take it out of context of Indian family and wider society and you get a disaster. Especially in America, where people tend to be incompatible with MAJORITY of people in the long run by default and their perception of relationships varies with time - at each time evaluating and looking for greener pastures. You cannot say any of the approaches is either better or worse - it's tailored in environment that shapes it: family and wider community. Same thing everywhere else - you cannot take things out of full context and conditioning where those things happen and then make a judgement about it.

Getting back to the point - rising numbers of men are raised with a notion that they are "optional", either by example in their own family they were raised in, or by a wider community . Eventually, this is all created by sets of norms and rules within a community that creates a certain "tradition" over time by generally positive outcomes for one type of choice and generally negative outcomes for that same individual in case for other choice(s). In our society, sets of laws created a reality where new generations of men, in increasing numbers, see themselves as OPTIONAL parents and thus they behave in such manner. While there ARE men who still do focus on being an active parent and there WERE men who'd just move on, we have a different type of common response today... majority of men behave as if they DON'T have kids after moving out of family home, they may pay child support, maybe see the kids IF they agree together, but the connections are rather not that strong and, generally speaking, neither do they, kids' mothers or even (adult) kids want it otherwise - especially when they these men find another woman (and have a child with her). Now you also have 300,000 of (unmarried) men who REFUSE to allow their name be placed on birth certificate even in this year, out of about 3,65 millions of newborns, with about half of these being "automatically assigned" by the mere fact of being married. While this kind of stuff always existed, you cannot deny the runaway "fathers" are so frequent in our day and age in last decades when compared to 100 years ago, there's a reason why the word "pandemic" is often used to describe this phenomena.

And all of this is DIRECTLY connected to the fact that we live in era of about HALF of all men not having a father in their home by the time they were adults and a message they get by the very system and women. If you notice the proportion of men who either "refuse" fatherhood altogether or "forget" about being fathers to kids from previous relationship once they move on, you'll notice that overwhelming majority of these men were "children of divorce", "separation", or they "never had a father in their home".

As long as you don't hear this, it's pointless to discuss about the reason culprit of these changes in society: it's the laws that regulate family matter who ensured to penalize men who behaved differently. These laws re-shaped "tradition" and new norms emerged.

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2023-09-15T03:45:55+00:00

I live in the suburbs in a large city in the US and all the divorced dads I know are very close with their children of divorce.

The only men I know that couldn't see their children for periods of time, me included, was during parental alienation by the mother.

That's why I fight for default 50/50 custody after divorce. Then it will be safe to be close with your kids.

Title	Do you actually need a father to raise a child?
Author	PersonaOfInterest
Upvotes	13
Comments	6
Date	September 15, 2023 12:45 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/16iz2b8/do_you_actually_need_a_father_to_raise_a_child/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/do-you-actually-need-a-father-to-raise-a-child.1231874 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231874

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