I'm 22 right now, I live in Europe and I feel like girls my age (18-25 let's say) just want to "discover" themselves by going on erasmus trips (exchange programs for students in EU), travelling OR they dont want to be in a relationship and enjoy "single life" OR they expect their potential partner to be a very nuanced and a super specific individual that needs to meet at least 90% of their requirements OR they go for these extremely confident but highly incompetent dudes, who are all talk but no action (the last option being usually girls you dont really want to date either way).

I'm settled on the idea of a long term relationship (I genuinely do not think sleeping around or "having fun" is a good idea). I'd say I'm moderately funny (definitely too sarcastic), pretty well behaved and pick up on social cues well (mostly), I got a part time job, go to uni, got some money saved up and I know better than to talk about politics on the first date. I'm just saying, incase someone accuses me of being an incel sexist or something.

And people tell ya all sorta things as advice. The usual: go get a job, go get an education, look good, take care of yourself, have hobbies, think of a partner as someone to take along the ride so that your values align, work on yourself, improve yourself, be yourself, be a good person, be confident and so on.

But then in contrast, I know this guy who looks like a fucking homeless man, barely brings any money to the table and lives like a hedonist, but he dates this pretty decent looking girl. So I guess its not JUST about the things I mentioned before, right?

So then there's the 'red pill' stuff that seems to be super sexist or extremely depressing. Workout, be extremely confident, ignore women on purpose, make women desire you, look for traditional women, have a high paying job, get women from third world countries, think of women are children etc.

First of all, I know people that are jacked that are doing worse than I am. Second of all, I'm fucking finishing uni, what the fuck, I can't speedrun life at twentytwo man, can't be a millionaire in an instant and don't I actually desire to be one. And I don't wanna fricking import a third world girl to my country. The rest of the advice is just "be an asshole to girls", yeah no dude, that doesn't work and I couldn't do it, I got morals.

Then you got the good old parents' advice, relying on the advice of my parents' generation probably yielded the most catastrophic results, because girls thought that I am gay or not interested (because Gen Xers told me to take it slow) or in particular instances, I got hit with the equivalents of "ew" or "jesus christ no" when I took a straight forward approach (which was also recommended). I've also been accused of sexism when I asked this girl if she wants to go on a date, the second time I ever saw in her in class, and she didn't she like it I guess.

I probably went on a date with 7-8 girls in my entire life (since 16) and in other cases I just only talked to the girls really and I assumed we couldn't date just based off the things they told me.

I've met/dated only three girls that I could call genuine trash, heres an example:

I've went on a date with a girl from my uni who told me that she had a sugar daddy during the date. She looked like a reasonable individual so she was the last person I expected to say that. Anyways, the date ended, she held my hand and even went as far to kiss me, so I assumed it went well. However she texted me ten or fifteen minutes later "You're not charismatic enough, I don't see this working" and I got blocked. Thanks for the customer feedback, I guess.

But of course, through out my life I met and tried to date decent girls and I remember that the reasons why they did not want to date me were (or at least that's what they told me) 1) You're too short (Im 173cm - 5'8" - which is short to be frank) 2) You're too young (in the case of girls that were 1 or 2 years older than me) 3) I don't see how you can provide for me in the future 4) I want to "find myself/discover myself"

The 4th example is the most common one, I mentioned it earlier.

So in summary, I have no idea what I'm doing wrong, I have no clue how to "improve" myself and I don't know what girls my age want.

I've read some posts here, talking about similar issues, but I don't think waiting till I'm 40 or 30, because women will be looking to settle down at that age, is a viable strategy, I don't think cutting off women is good idea, I don't think waiting is a good idea either because I don't think I'm suddenly going to be seeked out by girls.

I really see a massive difference in standards and expectations because it seems like, and maybe I'm blinded by emotions here, that girls in my age category just kind of have to exist and look good (so I guess the minimum would be not looking a homeless person) in order to be "acceptable for dating", meanwhile it seems like much more is expected of me, which I do understand to a certain extent, but it seems like they TAKE too much without GIVING much back.

To be honest, it does feel degrading and a little depressing at this point, it really got to me in the past three months.