How to prove "Cruel and Inhumane Treatment"

IllustriousCry672 · 2024-01-21T17:58:19+00:00

Hmm...if it's US, it sadly really doesn't matter what she did during the marriage. If you're in NC, and have proof of adultery, you can bar alimony, but other than that, it's generally going to be split either 50/50 or 'equitably' which is usually 50/50. No matter what evil stuff she did.

So...the main thing you need to do is protect yourself from false DV violations, or thinking you're a danger to yourself and others. Sadly, just owning guns is enough for the latter, so give those to someone you trust and out of your possession until this all over.

For the former, record any interactions with her, so she can't lie. And don't engage or yell or send emails, or whatever. None of it will matter, sadly.

SkeptiCynical · 2024-01-21T14:22:01+00:00

Are you in the US? Take a deep breath, because the justice fantasy you have going through your head isn't going to happen.

Don't bother trying to divorce on grounds. The expense of a trial isn't worth it. No-fault is the law of the land now. Family court doesn't care about emotional abuse, narcissism or borderline. The "harm" isn't measurable and it doesn't rise to "grounds" in any state. Documentation and "evidence" won't mean anything in family court - your divorce isn't going to be treated like criminal court. Just file for divorce. She can avoid signing papers, but she can't avoid a process server forever. She can ignore the court dates too - then the divorce will be granted in absentia in a few months anyway.

But first, here's what you can do:

Take that documentation - emails, texts, phone logs - and file for a family court protective order ASAP. While they aren't grounds for divorce, you can get a restraining order for harassment, stalking, abusive language and threats. This should put her on the defensive. You'll get at least a 14-day respite from her, and she'll get served this protection order by Sheriffs. If and when she contests the order, you'll both get a trial date. If she violates the stay-away / refrain-from orders, she'll be arrested.

You have to be willing - right now - to do something you've never done before: stand up for yourself and use the tools put in place by family court to protect you from harassment. There are laws and legal processes in place for exactly this purpose. Use these tools to set the stage and level the field to shock her back into reality.

She won't get "everything" without a judge being involved. Right now everything is equally yours and hers. You can sell off the truck or empty your bank accounts right now if you want to. Don't tiptoe around your own life being afraid of her. File for divorce, take half, and get that protection order. Sheriffs don't fuck around and believe it or not, the family court restraining order is far more powerful than the threat of divorce right now.

Title	How to prove "Cruel and Inhumane Treatment"
Author	BFG-77
Upvotes	3
Comments	4
Date	January 21, 2024 3:01 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/19btgo4/how_to_prove_cruel_and_inhumane_treatment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-to-prove-cruel-and-inhumane-treatment.1243474 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243474

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