I decided to go to a new mall for a fresh atmosphere and change things up a bit. So I had to drive slightly more. My first cold approach target was instantly seen as I walked into the mall. I was slightly shocked, I didn’t expect to find a girl so fast. I didn’t see her face, but she looked fairly fit as I saw her from the side. I eventually did not approach her. I wasn’t fully sure. Again, I stopped in my tracks unfortunately. I was also busy thinking about something else, so my brain was not in the right mindset anyway.

Literally a couple minutes pass. I am sitting down. I see a very attractive girl my age range. She makes minor eye contact with me. My mind was really occupied with some useless topic. I was sitting down, and I was too hesitant to get back up and approach. I was also doing something on my phone. I was scrambled all over the place, mentally. She walks by, I didn’t move in on time, and I made an incredibly stupid move by not approaching right there. I get back up, and I go try to look for her. She is nowhere to be seen in the area she went to. She likely left. And I feel the pain of regret.

I go around the mall, and I do a bunch of “warm-ups.” I talk to some employees in stores. My mindset gets focused on approaching once again. I notice I really am not a sociable person at all. I force myself to talk and socialize. I hardly enjoy it unless I really desire it as a specific goal. This is a decent step because I usually don’t even talk to employees.

I can’t find any suitable targets from there on after walking a lot. I did see a potential person who I wanted to approach, but they might have been in HS. So I didn’t do it. I also saw another potential person, but the scenario wasn’t in my favor, as she was in an incredibly small store that was for women only. I did make eye contact with a MILF or some attractive woman in her early 30s towards the end. But I didn’t take much action. I never expected to go in to approach a MILF, so I passed by the opportunity. However, it would have been crazy if I succeeded.

What I Learned:
So it may seem terrible, but I did make some progress. I have noticed I need to completely change my mindset in general, and I did talk to some employees which I don’t usually do. I noticed I am not necessarily even nervous and fearful during approaches. I just am incredibly hesitant, cautious, and haven’t committed to the decision yet. Everytime I see someone I want to approach, I realize I was never actually mentally committed to wanting to approach the person. I am trying to make up my mind whether I should. I need to act QUICKER.

Also, I noticed that this is just a pattern I have in general. A lot of times, I think about the decision I want to make. Let’s say I am ordering something at a restaurant, it can take a long time for me to make up my mind. To put it shortly, I need to stop this habit.

I also noticed that in all my past approaches I have actually done, I had mentally made up my mind to do so. To put it shortly, I need to do this MUCH faster, and proceed with confidence. Uncertainty is part of the cold approaching, and I need to get over it. I even approached two girls at the same time before when I had made up my mind, and that was my direct approach I did two years ago.

Once I make up my mind, I have to power through and do it. But I have to do it fast, in 5 seconds. No excuses, no situations, just go in. My goal is to cold approach any girl I want to approach ultimately. Although today I yielded no results in terms of numbers, I did change my mindset and try new things which I usually don’t do.Next time, it will be day 3. And I want to get in an actual direct approach now. I am changing other habits in my life as well to help me. My mindset is also changing as well, as I am realizing my mistakes for the first time. Because I have an audience, I also cannot let them down next time.