Exposition: When I accepted that my long-held view and desire of intimately bonding with a female in an ultimate romantic and sexual relationship would forever be obsolete, I felt an emptiness in me which was profoundly different than teenage depression. Shattering the "love" program in my head left me feeling hopeless, like I really couldn't do anything I ever wanted, because if I can't make my greatest fantasy come true, then of what use was pursuing life goals? I'd be dead inside anyway.

Superficially speaking, I'm a lot better at giving off great first impressions, but I always keep things at a basic level. I feel as though my interpersonal interactions with people, especially women, are cyclical. I lie in wait for a green light of opportunity. Subconsciously, I even create dilemmas to diminish my gains so that I can build them back up again, just so I can be better at improving, instead of continuously excelling, be that in exercise or socializing.

I'll stop explaining myself because I could go on all day without getting to the tangible point everybody is waiting for, but I guess it's all in my question. Many times, I get what I perceive to be a look of interest from attractive women, but I don't act on it, and because I don't capitalize on the moment, they purposefully shut me out and avoid looking at me for the duration they're around me. That's as close as I can convey the details of what I seek solutions to. Thanks for bearing with me.