Let me start by giving some background, I am not new to seduction / pick up or whatever you want to call it . I've been involved in this transformational scene for about 11 years. I consider myself a confident person to the point where I feel I am qualified to help others in their journey.

I have recently been lurking this subreddit and I see many areas where I can help however usually the answers are not as straightforward as you think. Techniques, games, negs and all those little things ultimately don't work if you can't back them up. They work to a certain extent, but if you don't have the foundation built upon then you may be successful in the short term but in the long term it's not going to do you any good because nothing can prepare you for the unknown, except a certain mentality that reinforces your state of mind that you can handle any situation...and that my friends is confidence.

Confidence is gained by taking action, there are no short cuts. Reading and listening and playing scenarios in your head won't get you anywhere unless you take initiative. I will leave the confidence subject at that as it's not the point of this post.

The point of this post is to share a recent encounter (or field report as some in the community would refer to it) that I recently had at a local restaurant that I think can help you guys at striking conversation.

I'll quickly setup the scene: I walk into restaurant, cute hostess, I literally look like shit (normally I'm well dressed) today I did some garden work for my mother and had to slip into some of my step dads clothes cause I had no clothes at my moms. Hair is messed up, and i'm wearing a white t shirt with oversize basketball shorts and loafers....yes loafers. I wear two rings, bracelets and my finger nails are painted black except one finger on each hand which are green. And yes, I paint my nails because I think it's cool and if rock stars and celebrities can do it, so can I .

She sits me down I order food and eat, while I eat I think about how I should chat up the hostess. I run a scenario in my head and quickly brush it off because it's Lalaland. So instead I focus on LOGISTICS

What would give me a good reason to talk to this girl so it comes natural?

Theres salsa music playing in this cuban restaurant <- I decide to work with my surroundings as I always do. Also I am a great salsa dancer so I feel confortable talking about the subject

I finish eating and order food takeaway to take to my parents. While I'm waiting I get up and go to the restroom, fix my hair and walk back out. Hostess is there by herself

Me: I think the best part about working here is this amazing salsa music.

Her: haha yes it's so good

Me: I think if I worked here I'd probably break into dance every once in a while (my body languages imitates a small dance for enhanced effect)

Her: It's very tempting not to

Me: Do you dance? (while I'm having this conversation I'm reaching out to the jar of candy, ripping the wrapper with my teeth and begin to eat it. It's kind of takes the pressure off the conversation and also shows that I am cool, collected and can multi-task. And I don't do this on purpose, it's not a strategy, I really wanted a candy so I had it.

Her: Yes I love to

Me: What do you dance?

Her: Mostly salsa

Me: Oh nice, what type of salsa?

Her: Not one in particular but I can follow

Me: Ah ok cool, yea I love to dance actually salsa, bachata and everything

Her: Where are you from? <- When a girl asks you a questions it means that she's engaged in the conversation, is curious about you and genuinely wants to know.

Me: I'm from X south american country, you?

Her: Ah ok, I'm from Peru

Me: Well there you, that's where you get your dancing genes from. Whats your name?

Her: XXX

Me; I'm YYYY (hold out hand for handshake and make some human contact)

Her: Have you been here before?

Me: What do you mean? I'm here like EVERYDAY, I say hi to you every time

Her: haha omg really? I'm so sorry I see a lot of people

Me: I can't believe you don't remember me! It's ok I'll let it slide <- Jokingly with big smile

Her: haha so sorry

Me: Nah, I'm just messing with you, I'm here maybe once a month

At this point her coworker walks by to go to the restroom which is behind me. I'm watching my girl and I see her eyes glance at her friend behind me and give her a smile, and I knew exactly what that was. I didn't see her but I knew her friend must have given her a thumbs up or that telepathic look girls always give each other.

Me; Is your friend teasing you because I'm chatting you up? (Big smirk on my face because I'm nonchalantly revealing my intentions while keeping it casual

Her (laughing): Yes, something like that.

FAST FORWARD HERE: I told her how I just moved back to the South Florida after living in Asia the last 4 years, she tells me how it's her dream to go to Asia and we talk about beach life and stuff. We are having a great conversation and then some customers walk in which I immediately without hesitation step back and let her do her job, I go back to sit at my table.

The take away food I was waiting for comes out, I pay and then I wait a bit till she is back in the front counter again.

I get up to leave and soon as I get to the front she is there with her coworker (the one that gave her the signal when she went to the restroom)

Without hesitation and not a care in the world that her friend was there. I walk straight to them and make eye contact with XXXX

Me: So XXXX what do you say you give me your number so I can call you some time and we can continue our conversation?

Her (big smile, looks at her friend): How about I take your number because my boss is right there

Me: hmmm, only if you're actually going to call

Her: I'll text

Me: Sure

She proceeds to take out a bit of receipt paper from the machine and hands it to me with a pen. I write my name and number and that very moment her friends says "Here she comes" and the manager was right there. I knew what was going on and didn't want to get her in trouble so the moment her boss looked away I very discreetly handed her the piece of paper with number on it and said goodbye, She gave me a real nice look and said bye

This was like 2 hours ago, to be honest I never count on girls contacting me but here's the thing, it doesn't really matter. I won't be affected by it. Either she'll contact me and that's great or she won't and that's fine too, I'll probably tease her about next time I go there to eat and see her. It's not a big deal.

There are several things I would like to point out here.

  1. Body language is key - 55% of communication is non verbal. Relax and pay attention to body language. I knew exactly what her friend behind me was doing just by seeing the girls reaction.
  2. Work with your surroundings and with what you're familiar with - If it's hot outside work with that "Oh man it's so hot, would you rather live in the hot or the cold?" and then build off of that.
  3. Try to lead the conversations to things you are passionate about.
  4. If you don't know what to talk about then you are lacking serious depth in your life. Familiarize yourself with everything, take interest, knowledge is power.
  5. Don't be afraid to hide your intentions, especially when there are other people around because it demonstrates a tremendous amount of value when you can expose yourself to a group of people and that shows courage.
  6. Stop playing scenarios in your head, it's imaginary and it won't get you anywhere.
  7. Learn to dance, just do it
  8. Don't focus on strategy, focus on your inner game. Meditate, do sports, join a club but do not sit around and play video games all day.
  9. Personal growth - Physically, Mentally and Spiritually
  10. Have fun

One more thing, I've been blessed with good genes but I haven't always taken advantage of them. Today I was dressed like crap but from my experience personality and character go a long way. Create your persona and build it so that YOU are happy with it and you share your happiness with others. Stop looking for external validation. If you have a lazy eye or face deformity, OWN IT and use it to your advantage.

There's more to it but I feel this is long enough. Happy to answer any questions.