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[–]IDoesThis1 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s pretty clear you have no options and you’re crazy about her which is okay. But you can’t let her know that but how frequently you’re texting and how desperate you sound any girl would run. Just play it cool next time
[–]CocoBabeNYC 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg dude stop fucking texting and overcommunicating so much. You are communicating your desperation and lack of options. With women, less is better. And stop with the excuser language like "hope to see you again", "would you be interested in hanging out", etc, etc.
If you really lack confidence then pretend for 5 mins that you are the most confident man in the world and just texts her "let's go out Thursday at 1900 hours. Is that okay?" I can tell you that she has never gotten a text like this. All guys ask her out the same way you did: "I don't know if you want to but in case you happened to be free and have nothing better to do, maybe you can spend some time in my company and since I am really insecure about being fun company I will bribe you with some dinner and a fun activity just in case". OR a variation of "I'm a super busy man, I have a lot of things going on, but I have time between 5pm and 6pm on Wednesday and then again between 5:30-6:30 on Thursday afternoon. I will be doing something very very cool so if you want to you can come and watch me do said super cool thing".
Don't be lame excuser. Ask her out like a man.
[–]Basquests 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You're coming on a bit strong, imo.
She's not uninterested, but she doesn't seem to be super interested either.
[–]Willmek 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I agree, but how could I recover from this to get back to the drawing board and work on rapport?
[–]JaytheSunGuru 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Did you find out? What did you end up doing
[–]Willmek 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Moved on hit the gym and worked on myself till I quit being so needy.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
A movie date isn't the greatest first date, but on the plus side you guys hung out before and after so all that seems like it was fine. Things ended with a few makeouts. Great. A promising first date. But everything that happened after this is a disaster.
Tuesday...I call her no answer
Fair enough. I rarely call women until I've actually slept with them. Before then, in these early stages, there's just no need and everything you need to communicate can be done via text. Also, rather than you initiating all the time, you want to be thinking about having such a great date that SHE starts initiating too.
Wednesday. Me:hey 😁 I wanted to ask if you’d be interested in hanging out at Ruckers tonight? I was thinking maybe we could play some mini golf
Get a sense of her schedule before you ask her out rather than asking her out a few hours before with no wiggle room. You're just asking for a "no." Ideally you're pitching a date in a more assured way too rather than all this "so I was wondering" tepid stuff. So putting it all together: "Down for a mini golf battle at Ruckers soon?" Then from there you narrow it down to a specific day.
Her: that’s sounds awesome! But I’ve caught a cold 😭 ... Her:but you’d be sick!!!!
This entire exchange is very painful. You need to recognize when a woman is saying "no," or better yet saying "not now." What person willingly risks illness by hanging out with someone they've only met once? This is what she is asking herself. And more importantly, it's what you should be asking YOURSELF. Don't worry, she has family and friends she's known for decades who can take care of her while she's sick. She doesn't need you. And she doesn't want you to hear her raspy unsexy sick voice. You're the guy who should reemerge in 5-7 days once she's back on the mend. The guy she can fun with again. Not the pestering, needy, annoying guy who keeps popping up. The proper response is "Aw man, feel better!" and STFUing for a few days.
7pm I call her no answer. Me:hey hope you’re feeling okay 😊 15 minutes later Her: hey sorry I’ve been napping, I’m still not feeling good is it okay if we talk another time? 🤒😞
So you reward her silence and non-compliance by continuing to chase her.
Friday. Me: Good morning ☺️. How are you feeling?🤧I’ve got a confession to make… I was totally stalking your Instagram. I feel I’ve been had because I accidentally liked a picture 🤦♂️. I must say in my defence you are stunning 🤩
Being creepy and thirsty and openly admitting it. Interesting strategy.
Her: what’s your Instagram?
An unsurprising question from a woman wondering why you didn't just do the normal thing of asking for her IG and sharing yours so there's some mutuality to it all. That's key here. There's no mutuality here. You were insistent on hanging out with her even when sick, even when it was clear she didn't want that. You were insistent on calling her even though it was clear she didn't want that. And so on. You must have mutuality. But you don't care. You like her. She's the one. So that's all that matters to a guy stuck in oneitis.
Anyway leave this woman alone. You're done here. Obviously you're getting hit hard in these comments. But the only way up from here is to take all this advice on board and start changing your ways. Maybe 5 years from now you'll look back on this and laugh.
[–]Willmek 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’ve messaged her again
Me: Hey, I just wanted to apologize. I’ve acted kind of desperate the last week… truth is I likely am. I’m having a hard time with a breakup right now I was looking for permission to end it and I put that on you because I was afraid of being alone. I’ve been suffering in quite desperation for awhile and Just lost who I am… Normally I’d just let it go but I do feel really embarrassed because we have so many mutual acquaintances… I’ve got a lot of soul searching to do, I wish you the best Taylor.
Her: It’s okay Matthew you don’t have to apologize but I appreciate you telling me where you’re at, I wish you the best as well and it was really nice getting to meet you, take care out there buddy ol pal
Truth is I used to be good at game I got caught up with a very attractive woman who I’ve spent the last 4 years with. It started with her saying things like Anime is for kids if I’d watch something I’m interested in I’d say you know what maybe I do need to grow up a bit slowly piece by piece I gave up who I was to her constant demands I gave up who I was until I no longer was myself I became what she wanted me to be and I no longer loved myself. I’m totally fine being friend zoned I need time to work on my inner game and figure out who I am again.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey man, it is what it is. First step is owning up to it. Not for the sake of anyone else. But for yourself. Keep working so you can get back on solid ground. Good luck.
[–]Thin_Protection5616 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Jesus, when a girl acts disinterested and non compliant, you don't pile on more validation
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[–]IDoesThis1 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CocoBabeNYC 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Basquests 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Willmek 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]JaytheSunGuru 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Willmek 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Willmek 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Thin_Protection5616 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link