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joelpe
[–]Vulturo 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Another one shall come along. Don’t degrade yourself further. Move on.
[–]Thin_Protection5616 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Mistake 1. You went on cheesy activity dates. Stop doing this until you've actually slept with a girl. Any date activity which isn't inching you two closure to sex is a waste of time. There are some exceptions to this, but they're not worth discussing in this context.
Mistake 2. You didn't make a move. Ever
Mistake 3. you were waiting for her to give you some massive green light. Mistake three. Her spending time with you was a green light
Mistake 4. You interpreted her story about rejecting other guys in the most negative way possible. She was literally telling you she's available.
Mistake 5. Your fear of 'losing her company' was stronger than your desire to win her as a gf/lay. In effect, you were operating to avoid a loss, not to gain a win. You were playing it safe and got the predictable result.
Mistake 6. You still took her to still a movie, while other guys were taking her to bed. I hope seeing Batman was worth it.
Mistake 7. Now you are considering pestering her for 'closure' and still myopically focused on your own feeling and emotions. In reality, leaving it up in the air is probably the best thing you could do to salvage any chance with her.
Yes, you need to move on. And yes, you need to talk to more/other girls. More importantly, you need to learn to stop making the above mistakes with future girls.
[–]joelpe[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
thanks for the insight. actually we did some activities that allowed to have some physical contact,such as the iceskating. In that "date" for example I grabbed her by the waist,she "fixed" my hair,etc. This time I was almost sure she was interested,but since we still had the masks on I couldn´t try to kiss her. And then on other dates such as going to a cafe (where we sat on a couch) or in the cinema,she wasn´t already that open to physical contact.
The "take her to bed" is not that easy for me,since I live with my parents and telling her from nowhere "ey,lets go to an hotel" seemed pretty dumb for me.
So yes,probably she was interested at first and I blew it up. The thing with my post is, since I don´t have anything to lost, I wasn´t sure if talking to her again would be that bad,if I dont she will forget me completely (since she never watches my instagram anymore),but if I do maybe she is more receptive to hang out again. Why leaving it in the air is the better option?
[–]Thin_Protection5616 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Take off the mask. Nothing signals physical and mental weakness like following the herd's media-induced fear of a cold. High status men do what they want and aren't afraid to skirt the rules that govern peons
Your parents care less about you getting laid than you think. I've never pulled to a hotel on a date, so I can't really offer advice on how to do that. I'd assume the best way would just be to drive to one, and then when she realizes where you're both going, coming up with a somewhat plausible excuse so that she doesn't feel like a slut. Otherwise, I would just pull to my house and tell her you're going to watch a movie, listen to music, or whatever else.
Not watching your story is a pretty big sign of disinterest, but there are also services that allow you to watch stories (on public profiles) without the person realizing it. Also, you're better off assuming a positive - i.e., she is not watching your story because she doesn't want you to think she's interested but really is.
Why do you think leaving things in the air might keep the possibility open....
[–]joelpe[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
well, in other cases I would asume that leaving things in the air creates some "mystery" about my life, and maybe that leads her to reach again (there was a famous phrase about this,like "girls fall in love with you when they aren´t with you").
But in this case,since she already seems like he forgot me,she was the one that wanted to walk off,and as I said I dont think is the kind of person that takes iniciative, I dont think that scenario is very plausible.
[–]Thin_Protection5616 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You're most likely right with the last paragraph.
People tend to hate things that aren't resolved or concluded and it keeps them thinking about it - you wanting to reach out to her one more time to have some certainty is a prime example. Netflix dramas that end each episode with a cliffhanger operate by the same principle.
In short, you actually have very little to gain (except your own feeling of closure) by 'shooting your shot' one last time.
Put her story on mute and live your life. Go find other girls and have a good time. When/if she gets curious about what you're up to, she'll look at your story again.
[–]joelpe[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Actually that makes a los of sense lol. I Will continue to do that then,since I silenced her too months ago.The fact that she still follows me instead of just unfollow makes me think that probably she wants me as a backup to reach to validate her the time she is depressed or whatever
[–]LyingPOS 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Can you give some examples of date ideas that are more likely to end up with sex?
[–]Thin_Protection5616 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Personally, I take every single first date to the exact same cafe and try to sit at the exact same spot. It's always a cafe that is poorly lit and dark and doesn't have a lot of people. It's also a cafe that has comfortable bench seating, so that we can sit next to each other rather than directly across from each other. It's also close to my house.
If you do this, it's worth tipping generously every single time. That way the staff treats you very well, they look like they're happy to see you, and they don't cock block you.
Granted, a small minority of girls may refuse to go to a cafe and believe, with a sense of entitlement, that they deserve to go to a nice restaurant or whatever. There is nothing to suggest that if you were to take them to a nicer restaurant they would automatically f*** you. However, if you're going on a lot of first dates you're going to save more money and be more efficient by simply taking them all to a cafe ( or a bar) near your place.
Second date (If I don't pull on the first) is almost always me cooking for them at my house.
Only after we've had sex a few times do I start taking them to places like putt-putt golfing.
[–]LyingPOS 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Makes sense, awesome insights
Thanks
[–]CompetitionFair7686 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This girl is clearly not interested in you romantically. You have 0 chance. You should just move on.
[–]hurricane4 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I agree. Aside from her never showing any signs of interest, if she was into him even slightly she wouldn't be silencing his stories
[–]Thin_Protection5616 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Going out with him was a sign of interest.
He blew it because he never made a move and did 'friend' dates.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She’s not worth the time. Move on
[–]SOMNIAT0 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bro just forget her, man. She not for you, a girl who hates men is a red flag as it is.
[–]Here_123_ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take
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[–]Vulturo 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Thin_Protection5616 10 points11 points12 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]joelpe[S] 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Thin_Protection5616 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]joelpe[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Thin_Protection5616 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]joelpe[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LyingPOS 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Thin_Protection5616 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]LyingPOS 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]hurricane4 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Thin_Protection5616 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SOMNIAT0 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Here_123_ 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link