Some facts before:

  • I'm really attractive, highly educated etc, so I guess my SMV is high. 29 yo, preferring girls 3-5 years younger since they are more relaxed and don't think of marriage.
  • I've always cheated on my girlfriends. It's a game/thrill, I don't wanna miss a chance and I simply don't have a conscience in this regard. I usually subcommunicate "high moral standards" so there is never any suspicion. ...what girls don't know won't hurt our "relationship". I only "confessed" to one ex girlfriend that I cheated on her with about 10+ other girls; but just in order to hurt her because she managed to make me really angry...consequently I wanted to destroy her basic trust in future relationships.
  • When girls ask me to be exclusive, I usually agree but never give a fuck.

Problems::

  • Many girls tell me that they never feel "secure" around me ("I feel like you could be gone the next day, and I would never hear from you again"), they don't feel loved and from time to time I'm simply egoistic, without empathy and act impulsively (but still with some control behind it). When I feel provoked, this leads to small conflicts. Then I usually turn "cold" (in my inside, I start disregarding them and stop giving a fuck about them ...for the moment), which usually leads to "breakups"/downward directed development of our relationship.
  • After the first dates, "new" girls think that I'm not interested in them (I hate texting, small talk, "how are you" and so on).
  • After 3, 4 months (at the latest) they usually tell me that it's time to get into a relationship or to stop seeing each other. They still feel attracted, but not "loved".

Why do I care:

  • I've a very time-consuming job which is why I have no time for lots of clubbing and dating right now.
  • I'm also bored by meeting new girls, because it's always the same. I think I just want a "normal" relationship...to have a nice time, be supported, save time, enjoy togetherness and activies and so on. Of course I would still cheat, but they never find out anyway.
  • I just "lost" one very promising affair due to these "problems", it was really comfortable with her and made it easy to focus on things that really matter. I already moved on, but still hate myself for not investing a little more and trying to be more empathetic. Think about getting her back, but it will probably never be the same again.

My Questions: 1) How can I give girls a better feeling of security, love, empathy, ...? You have any tips on mindset, attitude, actions? Why can't I have/develop normal relationships? 2) Does anyone of you experience these moments when you feel provoked/angry, and you turn totally cold and people around you become totally irrelevant/replaceable/worthless? How do you deal with this state of mind?