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[–]King-Britton 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Just like you Im 6 ft 4, been told im decently attractive and muscular. Had the same problem being too shy, what helped me was working more on inner game - i stopped caring what people thought about me by focusing my energy on hobbies, interests, work etc. I steer my ship and if i think someone is a good crew-mate i let them climb aboard.
With regards to my shyness and mentality i would take a 3rd person perspective of how my body felt and on my interactions, body language is the most important aspect and if you are tense you will feel shy and anxious, just watch and become aware of how you feel without judgement. Practicing relaxation through meditation/breathing exercises etc during interactions will help you to achieve a flow state, making you more confident.
The last is exposure therapy, i work with people a lot in my career and this helps massively with my social anxiety.
[–]CompetitionFair7686 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
The more you want a girlfriend the less likely you are ever gonna get one. Guys who focus on getting a girlfriend tend to come on too strong and rush things too much turning the girls off.
That’s why you should listen to those who tell you to just fuck around with girls, girls don’t want a guy who rushes into a relationship.
Have sex first, loads of sex with a girl, until she is the one bringing up being officially together.
Never be the one to say “i love you” first, and never be the one to ask for a relationship first.
Don’t try to suggest you want something serious and loyal if the girl has not been the first one to ask “what are we” or asks you to be in a relationship.
As for daygame, you need to learn to get rid of your ego if you worry about people laughing is because you are letting your ego control you.
Your ego is worried about the image you portray to pthers, that’s why you do t like being laughed at, because if they laugh at you, your ego thinks your image is breaking…
But the thing is that image is fake anyway, your ego just hates that others might see through that facade, through that fake image you portray and realise that you are not what you pretended to portray.
And why do you not want others to see through that facade?
Because you feel vulnerable, you feel exposed, you feel as if your flaws or inferiority complexes are out in the open for everyone to see, and that makes you depressed and embarrassed.
Depressed because you feel like those things make you inferior and now everyone will treat you as such.
Depressed because there is a personal issue you haven’t solved yet, and now everyone can see that you have that unresolved issue that you tried to escape from, by putting the facade.
Depressed because you feel that you are seeing that issue, and feel hopeless that you can’t resolve it.
”If other people laugh at me, it’s probably because i’m ugly, or not as good looking as i’d thought, and i can’t do anything about it, it’s my genes”
So what your ego does is to just make you freeze and avoid approaching the girl out of fear she might confirm that you are ugly.
Maybe she doesn’t say you are ugly, but deep down you feel that it has to be that.
Your ego didn’t want you to get that confirmation or that suspicion, that’s why it was trying hard to stop you and avoid approaching her so that you can continue to live under the illusion that maybe you are actually fine looking, and that the reason you don’t date a girl is because you are not approaching which is far more easy to deal with and tolerate it than being ugly.
It’s easier to tell yourself that you don’t date someone because you are choosing not to, than because you can’t due to your “not-good-enough” genes
If you choose not to approach, it’s your choice meaning you can change it one day, but if you can’t date her, even if you choose to talk her, it means you are worthless, or inferior because no matter what your choice is, your genes which you can’t change are not helping you they are working against you” and that’s depressing and super self-defeating, it’s like you are slave to your inferior looks.
So the root here is that some issue about yourself is unresolved, if you feel like you are ugly, that’s the issue the fact that you can’t accept yourself and your looks.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
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[–]AuremYT 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Think of it as a game of odds. Like playing your favorite game and looking at the your k/d, in order to form a k/d. You have to have tried to play the game multiple times, just like that. You’ll start to see rejection as a common loss in a game. This way, you’ll be able to approach women in all situations. Even if you approach one in a group, your confidence will be noticed and thus over time. It’ll be easier to approach women and understand their cues as to find one who is most likely not going to reject you based on behavior. 😂 good luck 🍀
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well, I guess you should start with changing your mindset, read/watch some materials from pick-up artists, if you are new to this world, you are probably fed with lots of bullshit about this subject. Also, like with any skill it is the matter of practice. Simple steps and learning from mistakes. Women are also human, have their own insecurities and they want and need sex too.
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[–]King-Britton 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]AuremYT 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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