Can't connect with girls at my school.

melonsle · 2018-03-28T03:29:07+00:00

As life goes on you can work on the skill of relating generally. As I develop that skill, I find a lot of it has to do with dropping any expectation of the other person behaving in a certain way, and continuing to amp up the sun-like power of my positive projection onto the world and life. This beautifies everything it touches, although I am also careful to see things for what they are, know my limits, and protect myself where needed. If you work on those skills, relating with everyone will improve generally.

But you still have to have the courage to recognize where its not going 'click' and then call it. You still have to know when you're forcing something "because reasons". Often its a belief system like "I think I should be more social". "I think these kids are cool and I should get along with them".

The fact of people not all connecting in beautiful ways, is a fact of nature, similar to rainbow's appearing after storms, or water falling off a cliff-face due to gravity. Nurturing and deepening connections is an art form, but so is recognizing when its best to save time and move on. You can work on them alternately, as you move forward in life. Good luck.

chemical-miracle · 2018-03-28T02:33:35+00:00

I think there's a seperation between attraction and having an emotional connection with someone.

I've stopped seeing one of my plates because I didn't like spending time with her, yet another I feel like I connect with and I enjoy being around, also makes the sex much better.

BurnieSlander · 2018-03-28T03:08:13+00:00

If some chick is so annoying that you don’t want to fuck her, it’s probably because you’re in her frame and letting her lead the conversation. Either that or you’re not being interesting and she’s just reverting to basic stupid behaviors.

FinallyRed · 2018-03-28T13:53:14+00:00

It's easiest to connect over emotions because they are so universal. You can tie what you like to what they like by how they make you both feel the same way. In my experience you can have conversations with someone who has very similar interests to you but it is still lacking an emotional connection/validation or whatever (usually happens with guys since men and women have the underlying sexual tension charging the conversation).

Title	Can't connect with girls at my school.
Author	TRPMorpheus
Upvotes	2
Comments	5
Date	March 28, 2018 2:06 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/87o9tr/cant_connect_with_girls_at_my_school/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/cant-connect-with-girls-at-my-school.126648 https://theredarchive.com/post/126648

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