I haven't approached girls much but have created a sorta "computer model" in my head based on what I have learnt and what I know about myself...but how can I get back into the game Fri/Sat nights and lol get laid?

BPasFuck · 2018-03-29T09:58:12+00:00

Reading this, you come across as pretty cringe.

Maybe you're not in person, but holy shit, you sound like you're overthinking and making excuses for yourself.

Boil this shit down to a very simple equation and spare yourself this kind of unproductive navelgazing:

Do I want it bad enough, to put up with x, y, or z?

If the answer is no, then don't do it.

If you're not sure, then the answer is also no.

If the answer is yes, then you know what to do.

So, do it, or don't, and get on with things. This kind of paralysis of thought is ultimately no good.

_Ulan_ · 2018-03-29T13:24:11+00:00

idk haha. [...] I do want sex Sx [...] xD [...] xD [...] basically [...] peace out

From reading you post and comments : you really need to put some effort into your diction. You mix up between what is in your head vs what comes out of your head. That is a big no no for flirting.

There are a lot of guys out there who talk like they think. If you are one of them you'll notice that people quickly loose interest in what you say. Instead you want to formulate a concise speech are express only useful words. See that quote from Martin Luther King:

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

Would you really listen listen to him if he said instead :

idk, I had a dream, more like an projection, that one day on the red hills of Georgia and elsewhere ... basically, the sons of former slaves and also the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the "table of brotherhood".

In the same fashion, you could have written your post with a concise and quality speech :

I can approach girls, but it is not a natural iteration for me. I don't seem to enjoy gaming women and prefer to work on myself. I would like to get laid though, as I have been recovering from a breakup for a year. My need to get laid seems more like a biological reaction than a real wish.

The cringey elements of your diction are :

Using "double quotation mark" . It is NEVER useful, you just need to reformulate.
Using three dots ... It's a trashy way of expressing yourself, and will always make your speech sound vulnerable.
lol, xD, haha : Those hideous things are reserved to teenage girls texting you to know where she will meet you.
idk, i guess, maybe because : Just tell us the final answer, no one cares of which road you drove to come here.
Endless sentences with commas : one comma per sentence, unless you're in a professional/technical discussion.
but/but/but : There are many other words to use. which, however, hence

It should answer your main question : I believe your game needs a lot of work. As if you told me you don't like to play golf, but you've never worked on your swing.

Mr_Badass · 2018-03-29T08:50:33+00:00

Maybe you have avoidant attachment and are "bored" because you dont want to express vulnerability and get rejected.

Avoidant Attachment.

If you avoid closeness, your independence and self-sufficiency are more important to you than intimacy. You can enjoy closeness — to a limit. In relationships, you act self-sufficient and self-reliant and aren’t comfortable sharing feelings. (For example, in one study of partners saying goodbye in an airport, avoiders didn’t display much contact, anxiety, or sadness in contrast to others.) You protect your freedom and delay commitment. Once committed, you create mental distance with ongoing dissatisfaction about your relationship, focusing on your partner’s minor flaws or reminiscing about your single days or another idealized relationship.

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