Performance Anxiety

DebunkTheIgn · 2022-02-05T22:39:30+00:00

Meditate, and deep slow breathing. I meditate before my dates with women, it helps me get into that I’m the calm centered and ready man mentality.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-02-05T16:38:42+00:00

Don’t masturbate or look at porn leading up to it
Work out earlier in the day
Don’t worry about her judging you. She wants to have sex with you, she finds you attractive.
Use your fingers extensively, take foreplay slowly.
Focus on how much you want her and be in the moment, take it in. Don’t get your ego wrapped in getting her off with your dick.
Most women achieve orgasm through external stimulation, not penetration( ie rubbing the clit and licking)

I have some posts on teasing, using fingers and foreplay. Again, DO NOT RUSH. Extend the foreplay. The more you warm her up, the better the sex will be for both of you.

MrDownhillRacer · 2022-02-05T22:47:12+00:00

My very first time, Private Johnson didn't exactly report for duty, either. First and only time that's happened to me. Especially when you're a late bloomer and you're for the first time about to experience the thing you thought you might never get too, it's demoralizing when you feel like you blew your chance.

What I found helped was just knowing what to do. I was nervous my first time, because I wasn't sure how the mechanics worked. I mean, it's not like I thought babies are delivered by a stork or something, but it was the little things you don't learn until you just do it: are you just supposed to "find your way in", or do you have to manually insert yourself? I had seen anatomy diagrams and thought I knew where everything was, but it was somewhat harder to tell in the dark with a real person who isn't ink on a page. And there's the whole embarassing stigma of not wanting to be that guy who "can't even find the clit." Of course, talking to your partner and getting feedback on what you're doing so you know how to please her is a good idea, but they relies on her being open and cooperative. I'd ask her stuff like, "does that feel good?" or "how's this?," and instead of giving me useful feedback and telling me how she really felt or what she really wanted me to do, she'd just say "yeah," even though I could tell I was being lacklustre.

After that didn't go so well, I decided to just research sex. It's sounds embarassing and nerdy, but I literally just googled "how to be good in bed" or "how to please a woman" or whatever. I kind of just formed a script of what to do and in what order. People will tell you, "just be in the moment and it will happen," but that advice didn't work for me. That only works if you already know what to do, or have good intuitions. I didn't.

Despite the fact that it may sound "clinical" to treat sex like some formula, some series of steps, the women I was with didn't seem to notice I was following a script. They liked it and told me I was really good. And I could tell it was more genuine than when that first girl would just say "yeah."

Because I knew exactly what I was going to do, I felt more secure and less anxiety. Anxiety, unless you have a legit physiological problem, is usually what's to blame for not getting it up in young men.

It's the same as with any other activity. If you have to do a presentation and public speech and didn't prepare and don't know what you're going to say, you're going to feel anxious. If you practice or rehearse, you will feel less anxious. If you just build up enough skill that you know how to give a speech with just some basic ideas in mind and without writing out an actual script, your competence will give you confidence, which will in turn make you feel less anxious. But you probably can't get to that point of being able to give a free-form speech unless you've done it scripted a few times.

So, just go into it knowing what to do. Visit r/sex and read their resources, if you have to. And when the time comes, you'll be less likely to run into performance anxiety.

4utoimmune · 2022-02-06T00:25:38+00:00

Use her. enjoy the moment. don't be afraid to fail. be afraid of not having fun. you you you you. think about having fun and she will love it. if she does not, at least you did.

ItsYaBoiPaladinPedro · 2022-02-05T17:05:10+00:00

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AccomplishedReason18 · 2022-02-06T14:33:34+00:00

You’ll be fine , don’t think about it too much , once the female energy starts seducing you it’ll take over , have her show you the ropes, the more you over think it and try to perform the worse the outcome, relaxing is key !

Title	Performance Anxiety
Author	elpayasoeso11
Upvotes	16
Comments	24
Date	February 5, 2022 4:29 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/slaw82/performance_anxiety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/performance-anxiety.1267482 https://theredarchive.com/post/1267482

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