~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
[deleted]
[–]Evolutionarybio 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In total honesty, the easiest way is to get drunk (like 6 drinks drunk, not 10). In vino veritas.
[–]UnderTheSettingSun 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This never works when you try to plan how to make a date successful before it happens.
You need to have this attitude that she is going to have to make the date good for you too.
But just be there, talk, not about boring things, and eventually you just say "Lets go back to my place." If she says yes, she knows what's about to happen, if she says no, then you know she wasn't interested.
[–]Cull_The_Meek 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think your first step is to calm the hell down and enjoy yourself with her. Stop putting such strict requirements on yourself - dates w/ drinks usually involve talking and getting to know each other. Strong eye contact can help build attraction. Wear something nice, look a little more groomed / better than you usually do, it shows you made an effort for her. She's already attracted to you based on what you said so she's just waiting for you to open the door.
If you want you could just kiss her somewhere two-four hours into the date. Setup to the kiss can be ridiculously simple - as simple as, "hey, come over here for a sec" in a bit of a secluded place. You can literally take her hand and take her to a suitable place, then step up to her and slowly kiss her on the lips (gently, first kiss shouldn't be "making out" or a peck, but in the middle). Don't wait till the end of the date, do it at a high point, or just set yourself a time to do it if you're dealing with nerves.
If she resists you at any point of the process (doesn't like you taking her hand and leading her, acts suspicious when you make a move) then either she's not ready or not into you. In my experience, girls are ready sooner than you think. Don't be subtle about things, make sure she can clearly see what you're doing - so don't sneak up on her and plant one on her mid-sentence. You're in charge of this process - facilitating the first kiss - and she needs you to step up and do it. Go in with the assumption that she's just waiting for you to do it, the moment you make a move will feel great to her because she's like "ah, finally, he's doing it".
That stage is just building comfort, not necessarily building sexual tension, but I think that should really be your first focus. Once the first kiss is out of the way, switch back to fun conversation and a chill evening for a bit. You can kiss more later on and get a bit more hot 'n heavy, which leads up to you inviting her home if you're keen to get laid on the first date. Or you can just go ahead and ask her after kissing her - if she says no, don't take it as rejection but as a sign to slow down a bit. But I'd really recommend to get that comfort-building step of kissing her out of the way on the date.
Also you're 21, so you'll have many more opportunities to blow. See these as learning experiences. It's more concerning that your last date was a few months ago. The more dates you go on, the more risks you take, the more you'll get a feel for the process and learn. See that as the end goal. No one date is worth getting too worried about, they are just experiences and you'll have so many more in time. Failure is a necessary part of learning.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]Evolutionarybio 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]UnderTheSettingSun 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Cull_The_Meek 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link