So, after 26 years of avoiding a cold approach I finally paid a flirt coach to push me to do it.

Not that I had been unsuccessful with women in the past. In fact I am quite above average experienced with women for my age. But I always met them in some kind of "pre-framed" context (like dating apps, tantra workshops etc.)

Never before in my whole life did I speak to a beautiful woman I just met on the street. And eventually it just became normal for me to be quiet when in the train or shopping, etc.

Last weekend I decided to make a change. For an entire weekend I ran into several women, complimented them, asked them for their number.

The reactions were extremely positive. In just one hour of the first day I collected 3 phone numbers of which one already turned into a date.

But the whole weekend I was in a very special state. It almost felt like I was hypnotized. This flirt coach is doing this job since more than 15 years and does his job extremely well.

So the real challenge has been the day after the weekend when I was alone again.

I felt all the fear and resistance. But I pushed through them. This time on my own. Each day when I came home I was overwhelmed by very strong feelings. On the second day I almost had to cry.

Every night since then I have hefty dreams. Certain symbolics occur which my therapist explained me are deeply linked with working on early childhood experiences.

I feel like everything in my brain is shifting. My whole system is changing. My heart beats so fast these days.

I mean - I just say hello to other girls, make a compliment and ask for their number. How comes this shit moves me emotionally more than sex or drugs. And makes my system shift stronger than after meditation or therapy?

I already did other fearful things in the past. But nothing made my vision more contrast rich. Brought such strong feelings up. Made my heart beat like that.

Can you guys relate? Were I able to describe my experience relatable?

What do you think?

(damn, I even get shaky hands just writing this)