I’m 18 and I’d been dating this girl for around 2 years and we broke up we broke up 2 times but this last time I really fucked up the first time we broke up was cuz I couldn’t get over some stuff she was my first love and I wasn’t Hers and I come from a Christian house hold so at a young age I was taught that stuff like sex and head and stuff was special and that you should only do it if you really loved someone and thought you would be together forever now I know I sound cringe cuz I met her when we were both 15 and went on for some time we were friends at first but I really like her and enjoyed spending time with her she made me feel happy and special mainly cuz growing up I didn’t have many friends most kids didn’t like me cuz I had a studder or would make fun of me cuz I was fat and so when I got to high school I wasn’t fat anymore cuz I had started playing sports but I didn’t really notice it but everyone else did and so this girl we met and we were friends but she had a boyfriend at the time so when they broke up after a few month me and her got together and it was good for the first 8 months everything was fine we had some arguments and fights but we got over them it all started to go down hill when people who I thought were my friends started telling me things about her past and then her ex came to our school and at first I thought I had nothing to worry about but then a few weeks later she said him and her were on good terms and that they were just on good terms a few days went by and she started texting him back and forth and I was to scared to say anything so when she told me they were gonna be friends I couldn’t say anything even tho it got me sick to my stomach and I wanted to cry and tell her no but I said I was fine with it cuz she was happy then one day we went to the Valentine’s Day thing at school and she started texting him right in front of me and I was sad and angry that I ignored her for the rest of the night fast forward a few hour I told her I wasn’t ok with it and I never was and I didn’t know how to tell her so she told me she wouldn’t text him or talk to him ever again but then fast forward a few months I was having bad anxiety cuz she had started slowly getting distant from me so I checked her followers and seen he followed her and that she followed him back and so I confronted her this time and she got mad at me and we had a big argument but then she said she blocked him and that she wouldn’t talk to him ever again and so at this point I was starting to develop trust issues and so I asked her if she ever did stuff with him and she told me she had gave him head and it destroyed me cuz I wanted to know how can u go from that to friends and in my mind there is no way that could happen and so we dated for 3 months before I couldn’t take it anymore and I was crying myself to sleep cuz I’m my mind she had to of cheated on me and so we broke up for 2 months before getting back together and so we did get back together and the first few months were good but then me drinking or smoking started to bother her so I stopped but then she started to drink and smoke and then she started to get a lot of guy friends who were just friends but I was jealous and scared that she would cheat on me especially since she would get drunk or high with them sometimes and so I exploded and we had made a Ageement that we wouldn’t drink or smoke but then she had a party and got drunk and I was pissed and exploded cuz I didn’t go but I asked her the morning after If she did and she said yes and I exploded and said somethings I shouldn’t have said and now I miss her but she then told me she needed time but now she talking to her ex again and it sucks if you have any advice for me to get over her or to win her back please let me know in the comments