How to keep yourself occupied while going out by yourself in between meeting girls?

Insendi · 2018-04-13T18:03:57+00:00

Don’t make that your main intention. Go with the mindset of you just wanna have fun. If you’re having fun girls will pick up on that and you’ll not only be fine with not talking to girls, but when you do talk to them they’ll be more receptive cause they see you having fun and want to be apart of that.

NewBoomAction · 2018-04-13T18:27:13+00:00

Do it once by yourself and see what happens.

Repeat this step a dozen times.

All of a sudden going out by yourself isn't a big deal.

nabosch · 2018-04-13T19:24:42+00:00

I go to live music venues. You won't look weird if you're just watching the band. Also great conversation starter. "How do you know the band?" "Do you play anything?"

alpha-zach · 2018-04-13T22:22:23+00:00

I genuinely enjoy reading. So I sit at the bar and read TRP stuff or a book on my phone. Sounds super beta but I get tons of IOI’s and choosers(think this is the term). That I open when they purposely bump me or try to get a drink while standing next to me.

The key is not to look beta(awkward/insecure) when you do whatever you decide to do.

I sit in the middle of the bar or a lively corner NOT the back of the room or a secluded spot. Don’t look around. Don’t switch between phone and tv. Don’t make needy eye contact with people around me. Don’t look over to other groups having fun. Even when something loud happens I don’t look up. When people bump me I don’t react.

I stay focused on what I’m doing. I have good rapport with the bartenders cause I tip well and am a regular. I have good rapport with the regulars. Sometimes if a person next to me is having trouble getting the bartenders attention, I’ll do it for them. I keep good posture. Occasionally smirk if I’m reading something entertaining. I tell myself I’m just there to have a drink and read, if nothing happens with a girl no biggie.

Important: I stay hyper aware of my surroundings, who is coming who is going, who is lingering, who keeps bumping into me, who keeps looking at me and wanting to make eye contact, etc. I do this through being very aware of what I’m hearing, peripheral vision, and reflective surfaces. I do look up and do a scan of the room once every 30-60 minutes or so.

It creates a couple of interesting dynamics. I appear very secure with myself. I appear to just be there for me. Not to pick up girls. Women love and need attention so because I don’t give it to them they get needy. The crummy women that are just there for validation, to get drinks bought for them, or have serious boyfriends get particularly needy. They feel insecure because they haven’t attracted my eyes with their looks. When I look up I get AT LEAST 3-5 girls that instantly make strong eye contact every time, if she holds it long enough I’ll reward her with a wink. Usually when I open a girl she asks what I’ve been reading. I keep it mysterious or treat it like a shit test. It forces them to come to me. Every night there’s one girl that opens me, by experience I know she’s always bpd, so I stay polite but distant. When I get the bartenders attention for a guy, which is rare it shows leadership. For girl, leadership and she’s super appreciative that she got lead(instant panty wetter). Other girls will always see this from a distance and know they can make an excuse to talk to me just by standing there or that I’ll open her if I’m interested.

My thing works best in a lively college bar with little standing room or dive bar. Prob wouldn’t work at a club or open venue.

You’ve gotta run your game. Whatever it is. If have a buddy to support that’s fine, but your game has some sort of dependence on him. Like a gym partner, it’s fine to have one, but don’t make it about the partnership make it about you. Otherwise when he’s sick, busy or a flake you won’t lift. A lot of people fail at weight loss because it was about the gym buddy.

You’ve lost your buddy so now you have to rework your game. A new will require a new game anyway so why not just make it a lone wolf game?

SuperCrazy07 · 2018-04-13T22:11:18+00:00

Yeah, if you sit there waiting on a hot girl to walk in...it'll be worse than awkward, it will be creepy.

Go watch sports. Look at your phone. Talk to the bartenders / waitresses (especially this).

First, you'll have lots of fun. Second, you'll get tons of free drinks and food. Finally, this doesn't really apply to me because I'm married, but I have no doubt if I were single and met a Tinder date at the bar...I'd get a ton of social proof and feedback about what she said while I was in the bathroom, etc.

PS - to clarify, I don't mean hit on the waitresses. They hate that. I mean recognize when they're busy and give 'em space and be platonically super outgoing when they are bored and its slow.

Rollo_Mayhem3 · 2018-04-13T22:58:50+00:00

My best buddy is now married and generally limited to going out because he can't leave his wife alone right now. So I found myself in the same situation. It took a while but I made friends and at least now how the option of meeting other people out even if we aren't that tight. Acquaintances basically. It's not hard, it's all in your head.

Title	How to keep yourself occupied while going out by yourself in between meeting girls?
Author	ezmsr2ez
Upvotes	5
Comments	10
Date	April 13, 2018 5:58 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8c17ci/how_to_keep_yourself_occupied_while_going_out_by/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-keep-yourself-occupied-while-going-out-by.127914 https://theredarchive.com/post/127914

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