I've been working to go on dates and get in a relationship with someone I think is attractive since 2015. During this time, I've seen opinions that attention from girls does not make one happy, and that if one is not happy before they won't be happy after. In my case, this was far from the truth.

After recently talking to a girl on Snapchat, I was sent a nude for the first time. The ensuing rush of emotion was unbelievably strong. All the sudden, she was all I could think about. I felt giddy and happy, I wasn't able to stop smiling. While I normally feel emotionless and neutral, I felt my heart beat fast, and my body get hot. For the first time since 2015, I felt like I had made real progress to my goal, and this girl actually thought that I was attractive enough to send me that type of message. This means a lot to me.

It didn't end up working out though, because I believe she was disenchanted with my response. She sent the video because we were having a fun conversation, and she wanted to "make me laugh." It actually was amusing to me the way she took of her clothes, but not much earlier than that she told me that she suspected she might be on the spectrum. I have a friend who is mildly on the spectrum, and I know that it can be difficult to pick up social cues sometimes or to know what is appropriate if you are on the spectrum. I thought it would be rude if I laughed at her when she intended to be sexy, so I responded with a simple statement of how it thought she was beautiful.

While her next response was positive, it came two days after what I said instead of the previous 20min-1 hour response rate. It also gave me nothing additional not go off of and was short. So I figured that I put her off and I have have not messaged her since.

Dispite this, I was surprised by my strong emotions and am pleased that I made it this far. I guess my takeaway is that for some people, romantic attention from a girl really can make you feel better. I know it did for me.