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[–]GoodMorningWanka 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah same. I fluctuate between "nah she is not hot enough" and "ok she is completely out of my leauge" constantly.
[–]gstwin89 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I initially also experienced this. To solve this you have to be honest with yourself.
Are you telling yourself she's not attractive enough because you're looking for a excuse to not approach her? Or do you honestly think she's unattractive ?
There's a big difference between her being unattractive and being not hot enough.
What i think is that you are make up excuses for yourself to avoid confronting your fears that you do actuelly like her. If you would confront your fears that you do like her, than it would put a burdon on yourself that you just passed up a chance to approach her.
The same burdon you put on yourself when you see a girl who is "out of your league".
To overcome this, I would recommend to first be honest with yourself. Allow yourself to accept that you might like her. Than, when you see a girl and think, oooh she's not attractive enough for me, catch yourself in the thought. Now, look at her again. Is she really not attractive? I mean, she did caught your interest for a reason right?
Analyse the thought and you will proberly come to the conclusion that you have been fooling yourself.
[–]Batt1eT0AD 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Something to keep in mind. The one you think is the prettiest other people may not whatsoever. Maybe try talking a girl you think is just above average in terms of looks and see what blossoms.
[–]nanis_m 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s possible that when we find someone really attractive it’s because they have qualities that we would like to have too.
When feels of doubt come over me, I know it’s because it’s my ego mind perpetuating stories in order to protect me from being left, so it’s trying to convince you that it’s best if you walk away.
To overcome this, I ask myself, if I had everything I ever wanted, how would that feel like? I’d feel relaxed, confident, grateful, and I’d see them just the same. No one is above anyone. She’s not on a pedestal nor are you, y’all are at the same level when you come at it from a human stand point.
We’re all just having a human experience and it’s about sharing that with one another. We all have our own upbringings with our own beliefs. Nothing is right or wrong, we’re the ones creating meaning out of nothing.
It’s neat that you’re noticing these feelings because now you’re able to flip it as you navigate through it :))
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[–]GoodMorningWanka 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]gstwin89 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Batt1eT0AD 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nanis_m 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link