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[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That took balls. I’m promoting you.
[–]Xabierku 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks bro, I need to do this on a constant basis so start gettin' more girls.
[–]double_prong 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I think that strong of an opener is tough unless you're hyper confident. You did it, but that doesn't mean that you owned it.
Most of us have better luck with a longer conversation before going for a close.
[–]Xabierku 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for the feedback sir. How can I engage, into a more deep convo, also I dont think that someone wants to chat for a long time when is at work. Especially if it is a publicly visible work, like this girl, who was giving publicity cards out the telephone shop.
But how can I get deep into a convo straight outta nowhere, cause in my case I always go with the flow, I have zero strategy tbh.
[–]double_prong 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
The basic idea is to do almost all the talking at first. Try to find something she engages with. Don't ask any questions. When you hit on a topic she wants to talk about, she'll be interested. When she asks you a question, that's called the hook, where you enter into a whole other phase of the interaction. At that point she starts doing most of the work.
Classic examples: * "You don't look like you're from around here." * "You look like an artist."
[–]Xabierku 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So no questions, that seems difficult thinking about it I make a lot of questions. Lets put an example with the situation described at the post; it would be good to talk about how I liked her outfit and the reason that I approached is that I like her outfit, and that I am into fashion. Is this a good way of doing it? It seems easy now, but on real time I feel like a I am quite a slow at thinking. Thats why I try to close fast.
[–]double_prong 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It takes practice, no doubt. Most things you could ask as a question can be rephrased as a statement. The trick is that she's more than welcome to disagree! You're trying to bait her into the conversation.
I don't suggest you pretend to care about fashion, she'll figure you out if you pretend.
[–]RetroWaveSpaceMan 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How do you walk around with massive balls like these?
[–]peaceful_friend 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Where do you live where beautiful women are walking around everywhere?!?!
[–]Xabierku 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That was in Vitoria Capital of the Basque Country, province of spain. Is 25 minutes from my towm and is were I go to do some of my thesis things.
[–]peaceful_friend 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Spain sounds awesome. I hear New York is pretty great that way too.
[–]Digzkay 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You kind of belittled her about the working thing Don’t say that next time Open with a joke or an introduction
That was a joke, and also a compliment.
[–]smidgley 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Please, never ever approach a woman while she’s working. You are putting her in an impossible and very uncomfortable position.
But props to you for having the courage to approach a woman. That is 100% encouraged, but just not to a woman who is at work.
[–]Xabierku 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I dont like to miss opportunities, eventhough I miss a lot. If a woman approaches me while at work and I like her I'm just going to say YES! So why would a woman be different?
[–]smidgley 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I’m assuming based on your comment that you are a man. Please correct me if that’s not true. As a man, you for the most part have no reason to be scared of a woman showing interest in you.
But as a woman, we have to be much more careful about our interactions with men in general but specifically at work because we have to be nice. Unfortunately, a lot of men mistake friendliness for interest or flirting in a position where we have literally no other option for how we interact because we are at work. I personally have been approached by many men at work. Most take no for an answer but some do not. I’ve had men stalk me to my car, come to work every shift to talk to me, or get so inappropriate that my managers had to get involved. I’ve even been touched by male customers at work. So many don’t take no for an answer that I will never allow any man to think I’m interested in them while at work because I’m trapped.
[–]Xabierku -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That sounds bad :(. If they say no i just leave. In the past I have missed opportunities for being a coward, girls escalated with me like lying on my shoulder or sleeping on me (thats some of the ones that I remenber) and I didn't do anything, now I ask myself what would have happened If I escalated. I always fail when the girl is into me mo matter what.
[–]smidgley 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah. It’s horrible. That kind of escalation you mentioned is definitely when you should make your move, but that would never happen while she’s at work lol.
[–]JabrielMat 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Balls but I think it's generally a bad idea to ever hit on any type of worker.
1) They are forced to stand there and be polite no matter who you are, they cannot leave, this skews the power dynamic 2) They probably get hit on multiple times during their shift and realistically they would rather be anywhere else
Only hit on a worker if: They are giving you eyes/signals, body language type things (even then they could just be trying to sell to you) this does not mean things like asking how you're day is as that's standard procedure for any worker They are your coworker and they've expressed interest
Besides that you're basically being a nuisance. At least that's how it is in America. Might be different in Spain
TL;Dr unless a worker is explicitly hitting on you first just complete your transaction and leave her alone. She is just being nice for the sake of her job. It's still good that you practiced your approaching skill though
[–]Ineedanswers6789 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s some the smoothest shit ever😂😂😂😂, if that didn’t work nothing will👌🏾
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[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Xabierku 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]double_prong 5 points6 points7 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Xabierku 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]double_prong 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Xabierku 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]double_prong 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RetroWaveSpaceMan 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]peaceful_friend 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Xabierku 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]peaceful_friend 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Digzkay 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]double_prong 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]smidgley 3 points4 points5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Xabierku 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]smidgley 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Xabierku -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]smidgley 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]JabrielMat 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ineedanswers6789 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link