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Can I still enjoy my life as an unlovable virgin?

[deleted]

May 11, 2021

6 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Title	Can I still enjoy my life as an unlovable virgin?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	8
Date	May 11, 2021 11:08 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/naag8a/can_i_still_enjoy_my_life_as_an_unlovable_virgin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-i-still-enjoy-my-life-as-an-unlovable-virgin.1284546 https://theredarchive.com/post/1284546

Comments

[–]franhd 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Alive-Doughnut2345 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]franhd 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Alive-Doughnut2345 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s just that nothing feels like it’s enough. I can’t choose what to prioritize for my self improvement. I have ideas and goals but my discipline SUCKS. Same with my confidence, all I can do is point out the negative of what I have or have not done. And I get so overwhelmed with tasks that barely anything gets done. I struggle to stay motivated as well. I haven’t worked out in a week it’s such bs.

My mind is my worst enemy. All it wants to do is stay in its comfort zone despite my best efforts and it’s making me miserable

Like idk I’ve been at this self improvement thing for over a year and I have not made any substantial progress. Maybe I’m being too hard on myself idk.

I also never went out so opportunities will not fall into my lap of course

What would you say is the right mentality. (I appreciate your replies btw!)

[–]franhd 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Having ideas and goals are attractive by their own virtue. Why do you think struggling musicians and entrepreneurs get women?

The thing is, self improvement is awesome. You work out because you want to look and feel better. You go to school because you want to be financially set. You buy good clothing, fragrances, and skin care because you want to change your external appearance. You get into hobbies because you want to be productive and enjoy your time. All of that is great, but they're not going to attract women like flies to honey. And how could they at first? They're not mind readers, and self improvement doesn't resonate some magical aura.

I interpret self improvement as a way to put some meaning into your life. You don't do it just to attract women, but at the same time, no woman wants a man who has nothing going on for himself and instead depends on her for his life to mean something. Maybe others in this sub can chime in here, but I often find this to be true from experience and observation.

So whatever you want to achieve, keep at it. You say you're working out, but what do you want to get out of it? Are you overweight and not happy with your body image? Or are you simply going to the gym doing the bare minimum because "it's better than nothing"? What hobbies and interests do you currently have? And what other activities can you add to your schedule where you interact with other people? Gym is one of them, but have you thought about learning swing or salsa dancing? Believe me, it's a great way to meet women since most men don't do this.

Finally, you need to take some action in approaching women. Like I said, they're not going to come to you simply because your life is awesome. Unfortunately this involves stepping outside of your comfort zone and putting yourself in uncomfortable positions, but I would argue your lack of action results you being stuck in an uncomfortable situation to begin with.

You don't want to be alone forever. You're not convincing anyone here that. You're stuck in your mindset that somehow "it's not working out for you" or "dating is just out of reach". While ostensibly you feel this way, the reality is very different.

[–]Alive-Doughnut2345 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Smoovemammajamma 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link