First [FR] here - http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/15tlpx/fr_pulling_a_date_by_being_the_best/

Pulled a date with a cute chick from New Years who I had great conversational rapport with, but didn't know how much physical rapport I had with her. Tonight, we had our date. Did I close? No. And here's my explanation.

I should preface all this with the reminder that I'm 11 days away from moving across the world to the UK (any of you UK dudes wanna hit me up, I'm always looking for wingmen!). This was well established between me and my date tonight, and was well understood. In earnest, a friend asked me why I was taking her out tonight when I leave in just over a week. I didn't necessarily know, gauging that this girl logistically wasn't going to sleep with me, and in all likelihood wasn't necessarily into that kind of thing anyways. I knew this, but figured what the hell - she's a cool girl who seems interesting, and my ability to close the number, get the date, and then take her out was, in my mind, a successful and interesting excursion.

We met in the theatre - she invited me to a movie. We find out our show is sold out, not a problem. I lead us over to go get some coffee at a book shop; we grab coffees and rather than sitting, I lead her through the bookstore looking at funny books, interesting stuff, and so on. She buys a book on Germany. We then sit down, chat about our families, plans, and all that. We had a very deep and meaningful conversation that is often sort of lacking in the girls I'm going for.

She interrupts abruptly and says she's craving some McDonalds right now. I say great, we sauncher down the road to the nearest mcdicks, grab some burgers and keep joking around.

We had grabbed tickets to the later show, so we decide to head on in. She remarks "I'm really surprised how open our conversation has been, I was a little worried." We talk about how I've been trying to teach myself to shut up; she says she's been really happy listening to me. We watch the movie, and we part ways at the end of the night. I tell her that I'll get in touch with her when I come back to Canada, and she says she'd like that, and to update her on my trip.

Why didn't I close? Well, no sexual energy ever seemed to be established. In my attempts to steer conversation towards that type of thing, it never really stuck - she seemed unwilling to talk about that type of stuff, and rather about larger things like family and such. My kino attempts, while never awkward, were received with some indifference and slight apprehension. Why? who knows. Generally, the date lacked sexual chemistry and tension.

My old beta self would have seen this night as a failure. Many of you may see it as a failure. For a brief moment, I was unhappy with myself too. But then I realized that I hadn't necessarily done anything wrong; I had tried to establish the frame, telegraphed my interest, and so on. And it never stuck in a sexual way. Instead, what I got was a fun night with someone I would consider to be a friend now. Is that ok with me? Sure.

Now, some of you might jump on the bandwagon saying I'm whiteknighting here. I'm not. I'm just truly letting go of the outcome. Did the night end in the way I would have wanted, with us sweaty in bed? No, but that's ok. It wasn't for lack of trying.

The moral of the story, folks? Sometimes its ok not to close. Sure, I love the closing as much as the next guy. What I learned with this, though, is that if its not there, its not there somtimes, and if we are going to put this in a failure column, we are missing the point of all this. My old AFC self would have been upset at a missed opportunity; it wasn't that, but rather a testing of the waters that ultimately wasn't right. There are all sorts of practical explanations, and you guys can go ahead and post them, because I already know what they are. That doesn't bother me, because I learned from them and am not getting hung up on the outcome.

I'll take your downvotes now.