I was that guy, standing off to the side at the parties. Standing there awkwardly while everyone else around is enjoying a conversation. Generally being nervous as hell when it came to social interactions with people I didn't know.

I started off the same way last night. I went to a party at a local fraternity house. I awkwardly followed the two or three people I knew who were there. I didn't start any conversations. I didn't want to look like a creep or a dumbass. Besides, what the hell was I going to say to these people? I didn't know them.

These girls aren't going to be interested in me. No, I'm not attractive. That girl that's been staring at me probably just thinks I'm somebody else. God this sucks... why do girls never talk to me?

Then it hit me, as I was standing in a separate, quiet room waiting for a friend to finish a phone call. I had an epiphany.

I realized that:

A) I'm not happy with how things are going, but I'm not doing anything to change it.

B) I'm worried about what all these people think, and it's stopping me from having a good time and meeting people.

C) If I make an ass of myself, who is honestly going to care? This is college. I'm knee-deep in dumbasses all day long. No one is going to remember me as that guy, that one from the party who tried to hit on a girl and got shot down.

D) I know how to have a good time, and I know how to talk to people. I do it with my friends all the time. Why should I treat these people different just because I don't know them?

Then something clicked. Something finally got through to me. I looked at the guys I had been hanging out with, the guys who had been standing around awkwardly just like me. And I said fuck that.

I went into don't-give-a-fuck mode. Went straight back in there, pushed my way through the crowd to the back corner, where I saw a group of girls hanging out near a beer pong table. I looked at one of them and said "Come over here. Let's play."

Finished the game up and sat down next to the table and watched the next group play as the girl I was with wandered back into the crowd. Then something weird happened. Something I didn't expect. Something that had never happened before.

Two cute girls approached me. They approached me. They struck up a conversation, and literally dragged me with them to a new table to play another game.

I assessed the situation. They were both seemingly sober and in control of their actions. No one was forcing them to talk to me. There were plenty of more attractive, more fit, available guys wandering the room. But for some reason, they came straight to me.

At this point, I realize that I might be on to something. This new attitude got me farther in 15 minutes than I've been in months.

Now I got a little swagger going. People are coming up to me, assuming I'm a brother at the fraternity because I "seem like I belong there". My friends sneak up behind me and start asking questions. Asking me to bring the girls upstairs. One of my friends just waits and watches until I need a refill and keeps bringing me drinks, like I'm a bigshot or something. People are offering me drinks, fraternity brothers are coming up to me and talking.

People are treating me like I'm a part of things. Girls are talking to me. Guys are showing a little respect. What the hell is this? THIS is all it takes?

I started talking to the girl who was playing pong with me. She seemed pretty interested, something I hadn't experienced in quite a while. She laughed at my crappy jokes, we went back and forth with playful insults, and we won the game.

And unfortunately, this is where the story begins to go downhill.

The AFC part of my brain finally realized what was happening. I was talking to some random girl at a party. What the hell is this? How am I doing this? Better not fuck this up! She's really cute, she's got the kind of personality that I constantly fall for, and she's interested in me. AFC part of brain takes control of the situation.

I go into nice guy mode. Swagger slowly melts away. I'm down to making forced, awkward conversation with this girl. Shit, I can't lose her! Don't want to make her mad!

I'm standing there, literally watching her attraction level drop before my eyes. All the sudden, I'm giving a fuck again. And it's fucking me over. We're down to awkward silence, filled occasionally with a forced question by me and a half-hearted response from her.

Finally, she tells me she's going to go play cards at a fairly crowded table. She gives me a hug, and says *I'm sure I'll see you around tonight!"

AFC brain is still in control. Using warped AFC logic, I decide "Naw, I'm not going to follow her. She would have told me to come with her if she was still interested. I don't want to be a creep."

I just let her go. No number, not even a last name. She left before I could talk to her again. People began to leave. The party died down. I left, kicking myself for not stepping up and getting her number.

But you know what? It doesn't even matter. I had a breakthrough. I made the change, at least for a while. I found out what it's like to actually go out and have fun, and to let the rest fall into place. And I found out how easy it is to relapse back into those same old AFC patterns, no matter how well things are going.

Now I'm not claiming that I instantly fixed my game. I missed some good opportunities to make a move, or start a deeper conversation. Hell, the girl was basically dancing on me and for whatever reason, I didn't think to ask her to dance. Or I didn't have the balls to.

So yeah, I still have a long way to go. But things are moving now. I'm making progress. I'm working in the right direction. And that beats the hell out of spending every weekend hanging out with the other AFCs and wondering why I'm not having fun and getting girls.