So what tends to happen is, i have a first great date....and my state of mind is like this. I let it go how it goes. It is ok no matter how it ends. I am accepting my states of mind more and more...and usually....the dates turn out super amazing when i am like this. I feel free at least in the sense that i accept everything and i am not hooked on any kind of outcome. It just flows easily.

However.....then the transformation begins. Usually the girl texts me the next day thanking me for the amazing time or striking up a conversation....and i just go full on needi mode. Not really on purpose tough. But if i like the girl...i just....man....i am fucking hooked to get a good response. To text something cool. I get a bad feeling and it takes me ages to reply because i AVOID replying cause i know how it usually goes then. So nowadays i just reply....and if it fails it fails. But man. I loose so many opportunities because i can not think straight because of this neediness. I loose so many great people/girls i could spent time with....so...how can i let go of this inner NEED to get a good reponse? To seem cool?

Any advice on that? Or am i doomed to fail until i learned my lesson. Fuck yea i want a shortcut and not experience so much rejection from people who would like the real me..Who did like the real me pretty much at the first date..if i only could be authentic without the motherfucking neediness.

Cheers guys.