I get a lot of hate for speaking to multiple girls at a time. Why?

letsgetrandy · 2015-12-11T19:50:04+00:00

I've gained the status of: Player.

Sounds like success to me.

I'm honest about talking to multiple women, and that I'm not looking for a relationship. But then I get called out as an asshole.

Probably has more to do with the context of when and how you're saying this. It's not really something that needs to be brought up unless and until she asks you for a commitment.

Can you give an example of a situation in which this happened?

Why is it that girls are very attracted to me when I neglect them (abundance mentality) but when I focus on one at a time, she loses interest?

Several things at work here.

First, human nature. We want what we can't have. If you play it aloof and don't invest too hard, she'll feel the natural human instinct to want to have you. When something is hard to obtain, we humans perceive it has having higher value.

Second, sexual market value. Having the attention of several women is a form of validation. If a woman sees you as getting attention from a lot of women, she will wonder what it is that makes you so attractive, she will interpret their interest as evidence that you have higher value, and she will even become somewhat competitive, trying to get more of your attention away from them and onto herself.

Third, options. If you have options and you choose to spend your time with her, it's a sign of your genuine interest in her, whereas if you don't have options and are only chasing her, it gives the appearance that you're just desperate for the one thing on your radar.

Fourth, clinginess. If you're spending time with other people, she doesn't have to fear you getting needy and trying to swallow up all of her free time. Whereas if you're only pursuing her, there is a natural tendency to try to fill all of your time with activities with this one person, and she'll start to feel suffocated.

A little something about female nature...

Women are not traders of fact and logic. They can't be. Men have a strong motivation to mislead and lie, to misrepresent themselves to get what they want. Women can't ask you if you're a good person, or smart, or highly motivated, or responsible, because you'll just tell them yes, you are, and then it may turn out that you're not at all who she thought you were.

Women have developed a keen way of examining men which is based in evidence. They look at the clues about how you behave, how you hold yourself, how you talk to others, etc, to determine in their mind whether or not you seem to be up to the standard that they're looking for. This is why things like shit tests exist — because your answer is meaningless, but your response is everything.

So, bringing this all around to your topic, why are women attracted to you when you neglect them, but they lose interest when you focus on one at a time? Because evidence. Because they see your actions and interpret them as bad indicators.

Seduction920 · 2015-12-11T19:29:52+00:00

What exactly do you mean by "lose interest?" As in they don't talk to you, or you don't do anything sexually with them, or they just want you to be friends?

There's a study somewhere that indicates that women are more attracted to men who hang around and talk to women frequently, compared to the guy who chills with his friends. Maybe when she sees you do this, she sees that you are indeed a player, and thus she plays hard to get. If you are trying to concentrate on one chick weekend after weekend and she keeps blowing you off, then I would just move on. If you keep singling out different chicks each weekend after talking to multiple women and they ignore you, then that's a little more expected.

At this point it probably sounds like a broken record, but try the Kino touching techniques if you are trying to signal out a single women. If this doesn't work, she's not interested - not because you are a player, but for some other reason.

Really general advice, sorry about that. Maybe try being more specific about your situation and we can help more.

Hanzla-A · 2015-12-11T19:53:57+00:00

doing this with multiple girls helps you because you do not talk and flirt with one woman. and when you stop flirting with the girl who you flirted a minute ago and you start to talk to another girl and the 1st one tries to get your attention that mean she's attracted to you and you always give a smile to her to tell her that you are still interested. And talking to a group of girls helps you , then you should And i also agree to this other guys advice.

eviiil · 2015-12-11T21:21:59+00:00

They want what they can't have, they want what other women want, they want to feel special.

Consider "Am I an asshole?". If the answer is yes, stop doing asshole things even if they make you feel or look cooler. You probably aren't, but seriously think about it.
For the girls that get to this who are bluffing, this can be avoided by making her feel special in an honest way. Tell her things you really like about her. Just tell her you like her. Show a lack of fear escalating before you do this though.
For the girls that aren't bluffing, polite honesty is the correct way to go. "Yeah what we want doesn't line up. I don't wanna play games with you or hurt anyone"

jamrock100 · 2015-12-12T18:20:47+00:00

Lol great status to get.

I doubt you're playing anybody and you shouldn't. Listen comrade, I also have learned not to put all my eggs in one basket. The only time you put all your eggs in one basket is when you meet your wife. Your best friend and your life long partner. Until she shows up, spread your love to all those females in your life.

One thing, these women in your life should be better persons when they leave you. That is your job. Love them the best way you can. And that's one thing you can tell those girls. "Give me whatever title you want but what I know is true. That all these people (females) in my life will be better persons if life takes them out of my life"

That's my 2 cents

whosewineisthis · 2015-12-13T00:28:24+00:00

You're doing something right. If you're honestly doing what you want to do and you're not hurting anybody, then letting other peoples' opinions of you bring you down to a level more manageable by them is about the worst thing you can do. Keep flying, dude. :)

To answer your real question, being awesome without them is attractive. It shows that you're not needy and you're pretty much a winner already. In my experience, it's better when a woman chases me. I'll put in some effort and desire and affection, I won't hold back, but my mentality can't be like "omg I'm gonna love this girl with all my heart," like a month in. That kind of thinking works out badly I'll tell you hwat

Title	I get a lot of hate for speaking to multiple girls at a time. Why?
Author	seduce_my_anus
Upvotes	2
Comments	6
Date	December 11, 2015 7:07 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3wew27/i_get_a_lot_of_hate_for_speaking_to_multiple/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-get-a-lot-of-hate-for-speaking-to-multiple-girls.1294078 https://theredarchive.com/post/1294078

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