If you've been having sex regularly with a girl for more than 3 months you need to sit down and talk to her about where it's going

frogma · 2018-02-21T10:28:26+00:00

I'd say even one month (or hell, maybe a week, or less) is a better time to sort that out. If it's just a girl you've been fucking, and you know that she gets around too, then that's fine. But usually this sort of conversation happens earlier than 3 months (for me, anyway).

It usually happens within the first month. And I'm always totally open to a long-term relationship if it's the right girl -- I'm currently in a 4-year relationship with a girl that I randomly met at the bar.

With my current girlfriend, we didn't really have that "discussion" until like 2-months-in, but with most other girls, it often happens within the first few weeks. And if I don't want a "girlfriend," then I'll simply say "I love spending time with you, but I'm not looking for anything right now."

I'm guessing you've experienced some drama because you didn't make your intentions clear earlier-on. Nothing wrong with that, necessarily, except now you've got some random bitch causing drama because you never really established the nature of the relationship.

I hate to say it, because I know you don't want to hear it, but my advice is to plainly state the boundaries of your relationship either right before you fuck her, or right afterward. Trust me, I've dealt with drama that has made some guys kill themselves before, so I know it.

I wouldn't phrase it the way you phrased it though -- I would go with something a bit more ambiguous, just so she doesn't break down and start attacking me or anything. Something more like "I love being with you, but I'm still dealing with a bad breakup, and I really need some time for myself right now. We can still get together, but I don't know if I can handle a relationship right now." Don't give her any sort of indication that you're not attracted and/or that it's her fault, in any way. And regardless, you definitely shouldn't wait 3 months before saying this. This is something that should occur within the first few weeks.

Some situations might allow you to wait that long, but those are specific situations where you're obviously cool with the girl, and she's been cool with you this whole time, so it should work out fine in most cases. 9 times out of 10, though, I won't wait several months before having that talk. Even back when I was kinda "playing" and shit, I never waited that long.

ls737100 · 2018-02-21T09:09:05+00:00

Most advice seems to be wait until she tries to force commitment, then you decide if you want that.

Title	If you've been having sex regularly with a girl for more than 3 months you need to sit down and talk to her about where it's going
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	4
Date	February 21, 2018 7:43 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7z3w6s/if_youve_been_having_sex_regularly_with_a_girl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/if-youve-been-having-sex-regularly-with-a-girl-for.1299928 https://theredarchive.com/post/1299928

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