The paradox of seduction: having desire for the girl you want but not never ever showing more desire than she does, otherwise you lose the game

pre_internet · 2018-06-21T23:12:06+00:00

I have to disagree. I love the feelings that come along with desiring someone, and I let my feelings be know. I’ve always felt this works in my favor. Hell, I go quite overboard with showing my feelings.

The issue then comes down to one of the oldest pickup theories of all time which is don’t put them on a pedestal. Don’t sacrifice your own time, beliefs, character, etc in order to appease them. Stay true to yourself.

So fuck it, if you want to show desire then do it. They already know what the deal is. Don’t be afraid of putting it out there.

recyclablebanthas · 2018-06-22T02:15:38+00:00

The paradox of seduction: having desire for the girl you want but not never ever showing more desire than she does, otherwise you lose the game

You don't even have a post here, just a title. But let's dig into what you're saying here.

You're talking about the two big tropes here:

1: The idea that you can't ever show "more desire than she does."

But the crux of the issue here is, showing desire is attractive as fuck. What is NOT attractive, is things like being a try-hard, not having outcome independence, or general neediness.

A lot of guys cater to their neediness and mistake it as "showing desire."

2: The idea that "seduction" is a "game" that involves keeping score and/or control

There's this idea perpetuated by guys who are unintentionally needy, that girls are watching how much "desire" one shows and if this arbitrary and subjective amount of "desire" goes over their own, then the guy loses.

But really, this is an extension of the issues with neediness. What's actually happening is that girls react with neediness gets over a certain amount, and that's when the guy "loses."

5hr00m · 2018-06-21T22:12:44+00:00

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piperson · 2018-06-21T23:48:16+00:00

I never talk about my attraction to women. It seems to turn them off. This is how you get friend zoned. You don't want to evoke her feelings, you want to get her turned on. So I express my interest with my actions. I am pleasant, asking questions and making jokes, and while I am engaging them verbally, I am giving them eye contact. Eye contact tells you a lot about what she thinks about you. And when the moment is appropriate, I enter into her personal space, a light touch on the leg or shoulder, or come in real close with my face, then I gage her comfort/discomfort with the interaction. It's all a give and take, a "test the waters" and then back off and gage her interest. If I am interested in her, I will say something like, "we should hang out some time" and I see how she reacts. If she reacts positively, I will ask her for her digits. And the same with the e-mail. And the minute that she shows less interest, like returning your text hours later or not returning it at all, I cut ties with her, and if I see her in public, keep a poker face, as if nothing at all had gone on. It's important to stop chasing at the least sign of disinterest but always stay open for future possible flirting. Always try to stay neutral, not too in or too out. Always be a little aloof so that you can pull away easily and not look effected by the interaction.

It's all a game of give and take, while you watch for her reaction/interest. But try not to be overly complimentary. It actually does the opposite of what you want, making you seem a little needy, or insecure. Women feel more at easy with a guy who is cool, calm and nice, pleasant. They are more willing to open up and get a little crazy if they are feeling that they can trust you not to get overly excited about anything.

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