I used to slay but was a loser. Worked on self-improvement and became a better man. Now cant even get a girl interested in me. WTF happened?

rich_fletch · 2017-10-04T06:43:02+00:00

It goes to prove that it's not external shit that impresses girls, it's the energy/vibe/presence you put out into the world.

Can't tell exactly what's going on from the level of detail you've given, but I mentioned in another thread yesterday about a concept I borrowed from Buddhist philosophy and applied to dating, which I call....

"Doing vs Being"

Doing is where you have a good job. You have good conversation skills, you take her on a date to the right place, you say the right things, you make her laugh, you escalate at the right time, you figure out the logistics, you have muscles and abs...and if you 'do' enough of the right things you might, just might get a girl to like you. Essentially life in the Western world is one exhausting verb where you wake up and start 'doing' and you never stop until you fall asleep at night.

Being is where you just ARE an attractive guy. Ever seen a man walk into a room who grabbed your attention instantly, before he even spoke? These guys are rare, but they do exist. And they often aren't tall, rich or good looking. When you're at this level, the game changes. Questions of what to say or do cease to exist. You become in a category virtually all on your own.

I'll write a post in more detail on this at some point if it interests you.

Venerabull · 2017-10-04T17:51:44+00:00

Two things are happening at the same time and you don't see the connection. Back when you were a loser and partied constantly, you were fun to be around and the girls you were with were also looking for a good time, so the connections happened. You are now in school and the pool of women you are interested in are different. You are another dude that is stuck in his own head wondering why since I changed x,y,z am I not having more success with a,b,c. The two are not necessarily connected anywhere but in your own mind.

JoeDucard · 2017-10-04T15:07:17+00:00

how are you meeting new girls? how often are you meeting them and how effective has it been?

dudeman1345 · 2017-10-04T20:15:37+00:00

I remember reading in Models that sometimes having the potential to be successful with a big ambition such as music is just as attractive to women as actually being successful even if you're poor.

2017-10-05T03:10:52+00:00

I can relate to this a bit. First year of college was a loser, daily masturbation, some hookups with ugly girls, no sex. Read Atlas Shrugged - then joined a frat, got jacked, got my GPA way up, picked up some hobbies, but my personality and vibe were extremely mechanical. Basically I became a perfectionist who put all my time into creating my future self without enjoying who I was in the present. I realized this and started to focus on becoming confident with who I was in ANY MOMENT in time and my interactions with women improved dramatically. I HIGHLY recommend going to parties and trying to have a blast there while approaching women. If you show them you're just there to have fun while also chatting them up and you don't GIVE A FUCK whether they reject you or not, you'll enjoy your life much more and have better responses from women.

SquattingBucko · 2017-10-10T17:40:14+00:00

Having good game is 90% self-acceptance and 10% self-improvement

Title	I used to slay but was a loser. Worked on self-improvement and became a better man. Now cant even get a girl interested in me. WTF happened?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	16
Date	October 4, 2017 5:33 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7466dq/i_used_to_slay_but_was_a_loser_worked_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-used-to-slay-but-was-a-loser-worked-on-self.1302086 https://theredarchive.com/post/1302086

Comments