First, some background.

Years ago, when I was a sexually frustrated, socially awkward nerd wondering if I was ever going to break out of my shell with a woman and lose the V-card, I hit upon a great way to build my confidence & experience with women: talk to strippers. I hadn’t heard of the world of seduction yet, didn’t know about all the resources out there, so I was basically just trying to stumble through the process on my own. I spent some time in strip clubs through the week, usually in the early afternoon (on a side note, the lunch specials are amazing). And I gained a lot of valuable experience in interacting with women, practicing not being the customer so much as an open, engaging guy who wants to have a fun time hanging out with cool people. It built my confidence, allowed me to practice my banter and kino, and a few months later, I applied what I’d learned with a girl I met through some friends and boom, lost the V-card.

A few years and relationships later, and I’m heavily invested in making myself the most engaging, interesting player I can be, not just with women, but with everyone in every situation. I’m a natural introvert with a lot of antisocial tendencies, and I generally come off as a dick to people I don’t know well, which I’m trying to change. And yes, of course I’m also trying to connect with and bang many beautiful women.

I plan to start posting semi-regular field reports to Seddit now, looking for technique critiques, sharing successes, people calling me an idiot, whatever. I enjoy writing, so these will be rather lengthy. Don’t read it if you have way more important Redditings to take care of.

Here starteth the Field Report.

Rolled into a local Gentlemen’s Establishment (ahem) around 6 PM yesterday, a Sunday, with my bro Silent B. We’re practicing Outcome Independence all the time because it’s been a hang up for both of us, so we agreed our only goal was to have a good time and practice our interactions. Exchanged some friendly chit-chat with the doorman, paid the $3 cover (Sunday FTW!) and made our way to a table in a corner.

Silent B and I chatted for a while, ordered drinks, tried to engage the waitress who was in a pretty bad mood and having none of it. Of course girls immediately started coming over offering table dances, which we declined for the moment. After half an hour or so, one of the dancers (HB7 as strippers go) approached from around the other side of the corner where we were sitting, didn’t get in our space aggressively or sexually, just started talking to us. So I gave Silent B the “game on” signal, and I started up the banter.

I couldn’t really hear what the girl was saying, so I told her “I can’t hear you all the way over there.” This is the part where apparently I come off like a dick to people I don’t know, because she thought I was telling her to shut up. So she turned her back to us at the table she was at and just started playing with her phone. After a couple of minutes of this, I realized I’d been misunderstood, so I told her I wasn’t trying to get her to shut up, I wanted her to come closer so I could hear her. She looked sort of relieved and came to sit with us, said “Well I’m female so you have to explain these things haha.” Wanting to play up the ditzy femininity, are we? Sweet, fine by me.

Did the banter thing for a bit, got her feeling comfortable chatting instead of trying to game us into a dance, and I went for the name. She gave me her real name immediately, then looked a little taken aback by herself and quickly said “But my stage name is Chloe.” My interpretation: She was feeling relaxed and not like she was in a work environment, thus the real name, and she then started wondering why she felt that comfortable with us and made herself a little nervous. Score.

She started telling us about a shoulder injury she’d had in a car wreck (shoulder rebuilt, sounded suckish), which presented a good opportunity to tease and neg a bit. She said something like “but I learned my lesson and haven’t been in another car wreck,” so I teased her that some of us naturally know not to get into car wrecks without having to learn it. She’d already played the ditz card, so negging about intellect turned into a thing for a couple minutes, got her feathers a little ruffled but I made sure to keep it light and fun, not insulting. She moved closer and started playing with her hair.

I’m in Indy and the Spurs-Heat game was about to start, so the conversation naturally wound around to basketball and the Pacers-Heat series we’d recently lost. I’m not a huge sports fan, but I’ve been working on that because around here you have to be able to talk sports if you want to keep up with the conversation, so I was pretty comfortable. One great thing about hanging with Silent B is that sports is his business so it’s one of the few things he’ll talk your ear off about, and he can fill in the gaps if I start to falter. So we did that back and forth for a while, and we kinda hinted we’d like it if we could see the game better (it was only on one TV way across the club). Chloe got up and got the MC to text the manager about rolling down the big screen and putting the game on the projector for us. Cool, pulling favors for us. Minor, but maybe we’ll work on getting this place on lock for future festivities.

Once the game was on the big screen, we moved to a more centrally located table to watch. Got some more drinks (Chloe was only 20 so she couldn’t have any), kept up the chatting. Silent B actually started opening up and talking to her a lot, so I let him have the air time because that’s something we’re trying to work on for him (I call him Silent B for a reason). She put her legs up on his lap and was playing with her hair some more, but he didn’t pick up any of that and eventually she turned back to me. Banter banter banter, talked about the game, about her, about my love of karaoke (we were both singing along to some of the songs in the club, and I had a few other dancers giving me “right on” and “woo” when I got loud with it). We were basically just hanging out, chatting, having a good time. At one point she started going for the “I’m not as pretty as everyone else in here, no one likes me” shit test fishing for compliments, but I just laughed at her and told her to cut it out.

I’ll fast forward through the next couple of hours, because it was just more of the same. Highlights: she started snuggling up to me to “get warm,” she talked about her family a little bit, pointed out some other girls’ assets (still shit testing, so I just agreed that yeah that chick does have a nice ass, yeah those tits are fake but damn they look good, etc.), and this started taking the conversation mildly sexual. She really opened up at one point and started talking about some emotional stuff, and I made sure to listen, empathize, comfort, and so on. But I took it back to playful when I could, didn’t want the friendzone. She offered me her phone number when I talked about going out for some karaoke some time, and I didn’t jump on it right away, just said “yeah, cool, I’ll get it before we leave”.

Silent B and I occasionally left her there so we could go smoke out front, and I talked him through what was going on since he was kinda leaving us alone and just watching the game. At one point I got her phone number and texted her to make sure it was real, it was. It had been about four hours that she’d been sitting with us, occasionally going to hang with a customer for a few minutes after one of her pole dances, but always coming back to sit with me and talk some more. About this time I let her know we’d be leaving soon to go hang with a friend. I saw her mind click back into work-mode, and watched her realize she’d just been hanging out with us and not making any money apart from a few singles on the pole. She quickly asked if I wanted to buy a lapdance before we left, but I told her I was having more fun just sitting there like we were, talking. She kept on asking like she felt bad but was worried the ownership was gonna be pissed she hadn’t made any money (she had only been there a month), so eventually I told her “Look, I don’t want to fuck with your income. We’ll go smoke, and when I come back in I’ll take you back there for a dance, okay?” She looked relieved.

Outside I talked that over with Silent B. I really couldn’t tell if it was a fuck up or not, agreeing to buy a dance from her, but I decided to just go with it and enjoy the dance, because hey, tits. We both kinda agreed that 4+ hours was a lot of time for her to put in for just one $20 lapdance.

Went back inside and she wasn’t at the table anymore. She came back after a few minutes, looked like she’d been freshening up in the dressing room. She sat for a bit longer, then stood up, grabbed my hand, and said “let’s go”. Definite Mistake: I followed her. I should have made her wait, then led her to the back when I was ready.

We waited for the next song to start, and I got a twenty out. Another Mistake, it just reinforced the client/performer dynamic. She took my hand and told me to get rid of it for now, so I set it on the cushion next to me. Anyway, the song started, lapdance happened, she was definitely turned on but I think most strippers are turned on by what they do a lot of the time, so I can’t attribute that to me. She kept going into the next song, and I don’t what the fuck was wrong with me because they always ask if you want another one, but for some reason the only thing in my head was “she’s trying to be sneaky and make me pay for another dance” so I stopped her. I was playful about it, and she played along and made an excuse about pausing during the first song so she wanted me to get my money’s worth, but I still feel like a dickhead because it was kinda obvious afterward that she’d been enjoying herself.

I waited for her to get dressed, and we went back out to the table and hung out for a bit. Eventually I hugged her goodbye, and we bounced. She texted me “Be safe” after we left.

Fin.

Okay, so obviously I know strippers game men all day, every day. I’d love any critiques that will help me with my own “Stripper Game,” because I’m planning on doing this quite a bit, it’s really fun regardless of outcome.

Thanks, guys.