Excitability and slowing down the pace of my speech

magojo · 2013-05-02T12:36:43+00:00

Could i ask how you are developing this slower pace of speech?

I'm having the same issues and generally have to deal with a lot of "what?" whenever i'm talking to someone, which is starting to get annoying whether i'm speaking with friends or women.

Or are you just trying to force yourself to speak slower? I know that's the most obvious solution and i'm also trying to do this, but just scouring for further tips if you had any.

When i'm really trying to speak slower, it just feels so unnatural and the impression i get by whoever i'm speaking to is that they pick up on how slow i'm speaking, as in i'm talking TO slow...

sagelydrunk_sedditor · 2013-05-04T04:39:01+00:00

What you guys should be aiming for isn't a specific pace of speech but a new level of expressiveness. A lot of times if you speak slowly you end up killing the pace of a conversation, or re-aligning it to something less fun- particularly if you speak in a deliberate, calculated way. It's better to have a more dynamic pattern of speaking that takes into account tone, cadence, accenting, volume, CONTEXT, etc.

I have one buddy who is a really good social speaker/conversationalist and he speaks pretty fast, the difference is that he puts a lot of information into a shorter time span while managing to be easily comprehensible. It makes his conversation engaging without being tedious (mostly) because he's able to engage people intellectually without being draining energetically.

Myself, I speak slower but add a lot more expression (alternating voice tonality, volume, using accompanying gestures). As in 'yo, what's up' vs. 'yoooooo whattup!! As a further example, even if you speak intermittently, yet forcefully and commandingly when you do, it can still be a dynamic and engaging way of conversating.

Also: context! slow and deliberate at 1 am at a bar when people are sloppy drunk is not effective. Slow and deliberate when you're on a day 2 and you are being suggestive and little too forward? Pure gold.

Lesson? Don't buy into the idea of pace as a determinant. Use pace as a means of expression, not as a constant mode of behavior.

farfennugen · 2013-05-02T17:27:52+00:00

I too, had, and still, to some degree, have the same problem. As an engineer who was born in New Jersey, it's a pretty tough hump to overcome.

A few things:

Do make it an objective to speak slower. There was a great post about reading aloud with a pen in the side of your mouth. This forces you to use your tongue to a more strenuous extent and is essentially a work out.

So speak slowly when what you are saying is calculated. Especially if it is a pick-up. If I tell a grl I like her earings, before I say it, I attach the thought of "speak clearly, with conviction". Repeat it to yourself until it is just intrinsic.

That said, you can use your talking fast to an advantage. Think of it as a reward system: like she has unlocked your passion. She likes Kurt Vonnegut too? Fire off your thoughts like you normally would, speaking quickly and with passion. But then retreat as if you have caught yourself. It will intrigue her, and she will keep trying to get you to do it. When you choose not to give her the speed talk, she keeps clawing to get it out again. The smart ones love that little game.

So bottom line, you are going to have to make it a goal, much like sitting up straight. The good news is, slowing it down is easier then being unable to speed it up. And you can use your speediness as a cat-toy more or less

2013-05-02T22:55:17+00:00

What works for me is I'm really starting to pay attention to my body language, when I stand straight up with my hands by sides I naturally talk at a calmer slower pace and really flow with my sentences.

Title	Excitability and slowing down the pace of my speech
Author	as-SAS-sination
Upvotes	7
Comments	12
Date	May 2, 2013 7:57 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1djg9l/excitability_and_slowing_down_the_pace_of_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/excitability-and-slowing-down-the-pace-of-my.1304227 https://theredarchive.com/post/1304227

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