~ archived since 2018 ~

How to hit on your server, by a server who loves sex.

derpendence

February 3, 2016

0 upvotes

/r/seduction

http://www.salon.com/2016/02/01/server_not_a_sex_toy/

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Post Information

Title	How to hit on your server, by a server who loves sex.
Author	derpendence
Upvotes	0
Comments	7
Date	February 3, 2016 3:46 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/440csv/how_to_hit_on_your_server_by_a_server_who_loves/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-hit-on-your-server-by-a-server-who-loves.1306706 https://theredarchive.com/post/1306706

Comments

[–]I_Luv_Procastinating 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]cyathea 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]I_Luv_Procastinating 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]cyathea 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

Fortune favours the bold. :)

What she is asking for is a staged approach, for people to establish a connection gradually and reciprocally, and to hit on people selectively rather than for a man to perform his game routine on all women he finds attractive from an scattergun and AWALT perspective.

It isn't something we experience often as men, at least I don't. It is a pretty crappy feeling when I have though.
I get offended when a woman who doesn't know me just fires her flirtation gun at me and I am expected to respond in the prescribed manner. She is trying to be flattering or whatever and I would typically be interested in her in return but instead I just think WTF, you don't even know me. I get approached so seldom it would be nice to respond as she wants but it just feels impersonal, manipulative and dehumanising.

So if that was happening every single shift, even once a night would be far too much. I would start getting unapologetically snotty as she is.

[–]I_Luv_Procastinating 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]cyathea 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

All true, but I find it disturbing that your analysis only considers your effort and your success. How about the effect on her?

Putting in serious effort to game someone who is forced to keep responding politely to you and may be trapped behind a bar sounds seriously creepy.

I have worked in kitchens, I know how much mental energy is drained from the waitresses by their focus on and anger at men who imagine that what they are doing is fun and consensual.

Waitresses are not in a position to consent to gentle, civilised flirting. It is a very mild form of sexual assault. The men are forcing something sexual on her that she has not consented to, because they want to and she can't stop them. And they feel clever and smug because they are enjoying exerting power over her from a position of safety, because in their view they can not be faulted so long as they are not being crude or touching her.

[–]I_Luv_Procastinating 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link