Last night I set myself to be at the lowest point of my manhood I have ever experienced.

Last night, I was video calling my girlfriend of about 4.5 years. Since I'm about 500 miles away from her for college, that's the only way I can see her for the next couple of months until I return home for the holidays.

During the call I felt pretty horny, so we started talking dirty and all. But then I sent her a clip of a porn video that I found pretty hot, which was some interracial vanilla shit (black dude, white chick).

After she finishes watching the video, she says that "she wants that." I didn't think much of what she has said. I probably thought she meant in that she liked the position the girl was or something.

I really liked her reaction, so I send her another clip similar to the previous one. What she says after watching the video was, at the moment, the biggest turn on I have ever experienced. She had said that she "want that dick". I couldn't believe what she said, so I came pretty fast after that.

I felt weird/uncomfortable but also tired after I came, so I told her goodnight and I fell to sleep.

Waking up this morning was when I felt the worst. My mind had just woken up, but was at the clearest of what had happened last night. I felt disgusted of what happened. I had lost all my respect for myself. I felt like I had lost of what makes me a man.

After some thinking, I knew I was better than this, so I text my girlfriend that I felt disgusted for what I did and for what she said. She responded by saying that she was sorry if she did something I didn't like, that she only did it because she knew it turned me on. Also for me not to loose feelings for something we both did as "dirty and horny." I simply replied that it is unhealthy to be horny about that, and that I needed time to think about things.

It's already night time and throughout her many text messages of apologizing during the day, I haven't replied.

I know that this chick is probably the most wife material person I have met yet, but I think I can't be with someone after what happened last night. I haven't ended things officially yet, as that is why I'm here for advice.

I know I shouldn't be in a relationship if it's long distance, but in our relationship I clearly have the higher smv. And she knows that, as she hates that other women flirt with me right in front of her. Or that she had found me kissing this other chick when I was drunk, yet still stays with me while being very submissive and responsive. And thus she think I have slept with many women hotter than her while I'm here. I also lead as well.

I think I know what's the correct decision in this situation, but I'm here for advice of how do I approach this and move forward.

Thank you.