I can't flirt with a girl when a friend or someone I know is close. Is that normal?

Ambilicious · 2018-08-22T13:50:52+00:00

I think there are two factor that into play:

You fear the rejection, hence the debate if you should talk to this chick, but you fear the rejection in front of a friend even more.
Your friends know you as a person, who moves in certain socially well restricted borders. And you fear that they will think less of you, if you roam outside of those borders.

You are ashamed to behave as the person you would like to be. Get rid of that with steady baby steps.
You have no obligation to behave today as you did yesterday. Some of your friends won't like the new you and if that is not the case, you probably haven't changed enough.
The new you probably won't like some of your current friends and will replace them with more fitting new friends.

oytrp · 2018-08-22T14:22:33+00:00

It's normal.

The fear of rejection is turned up because now it goes beyond just you and the girl. Other people could witness your failure. The fear is misplaced because most guys will respect you for taking the shot.

It's basically approach anxiety but turned up a bit more intensely. There is no magic method to get passed this. Just have to do it. Practice, be confident and dngaf.

fnordsnord · 2018-08-22T15:54:35+00:00

deleted ^{^{^What}} ^{^{^is}} ^{^{^this?}}

askmrcia · 2018-08-22T17:29:18+00:00

Yea all good answers. The more you practice the better you can frame your way on asking a girl out on front of anyone without coming across as a creep, failure or douche.

It depends on the woman and situation ofcourse. The main thing is to go in and not care. I do feel like in college classes it's alot easier then you think it is.

Make small talk and just to say to them that you guys should exchange numbers to hang out or something. Most times they will agree whether they want to see you or not outside of class.

And you can do that with guys or anyone else in your class too, so you def won't come across as a creep. But at the same time you want to make your intentions clear so you don't get friendzoned and that's where some body language can come into play. But since it's class you don't have to go balls in the very first time you see her. It's OK to build up some rapport a few classes in.

I can give examples if you want on how I did it, but yea just go in with the idgf mentality. I know it sounds easier then said

horefg · 2018-08-22T22:45:12+00:00

Could just be you. When I was single i straight up grabbed a woman by the ass and made out with her in front of friends and 20 people. Given, I was hammered but I think I’d still done it cause she was a dime.

I’m in college now and honestly I’d say don’t shit where you eat. Your in the class to learn. There’s thousands of girls on campus who you won’t have to see every day if you find out she’s a feminazi and need to next her ass.

[deleted] · 2018-08-22T19:57:33+00:00

At your core, you are ashamed of your desires as a man.

Tongaduder · 2018-08-22T13:34:05+00:00

I bet he finds that girl cute as well.

What if he was the one sitting next to her and you were behind them? You’d probably hate it if he tried to make a move, all while you couldn’t.

Title	I can't flirt with a girl when a friend or someone I know is close. Is that normal?
Author	horefg
Upvotes	6
Comments	13
Date	August 22, 2018 1:12 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/99d7wf/i_cant_flirt_with_a_girl_when_a_friend_or_someone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-cant-flirt-with-a-girl-when-a-friend-or-someone.130949 https://theredarchive.com/post/130949

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