Hi all,

Just broke up from a short but intense relationship. Total time together 6+ months. Lived together for 3 months or so... very intense time. We then went long distance maybe a couple of weeks ago. Since then conversations started getting a bit too negative, emotional, dramatic... so I broke up the other day and suggested no contact.

Living together was obviously a mistake in hindsight, along with the logistics of long distance (even though I wanted to give it a shot, as I got a bit tired of plating and wanted something more 'meaningful')

When she moved in that's when shit went downhill as expected... conflicts / fights started over the dumbest shit, and stayed unresolved (different ways of thinking perhaps), I tolerated it mostly because I was a little bitch, she blames me a bit for her lack of 'career progress' here (and almost expected me to help her with that full time or something) even though she knew I was busy with work and she stayed here rent free.

I still tried to do my work but it was distracting as hell. I became a shell of my former self, found myself turning into a social hermit (she wanted to stay home all the time), she didn't stop me from socializing but for some reason I was too drained and also just ended up staying home, watching TV together or playing video games.

There were a few times when I messed up too and engaged in the conflicts/fights, of her making me feel bad about myself and my actions. At one point I got pretty mad and told her she should just fly back home. She cried, and I felt pretty bad because I didn't really mean it at the time. But I think the relationship kind of went downhill from there. There were good times too, but when bad times came up it felt like we were unable to resolve any conflicts together (eg trying to fix our sleep would end up with her insisting 'fine I will just sleeping on the sofa' and she would do it... and I would let her even though it just made me feel bad/guilty). She never refused sex with me, though.

While she was here I also witnessed some red flags in her interaction with her mother, who she would get into these yelling tantrums and emotional outbursts with... at times I also felt like I was having to be a therapist about how she didn't see the point of living since she was young or something. That shit got draining...

Towards the end of her stay here due to visa expiry, she saw it as her own idea to leave as her career wasn't progressing here and so she flew back to her home country and recently got a job there. She also said she would never return to stay wit home here, but wanted me to fly there to be with her in her territory.

Over time the texting and calling started getting draining, and conversations sometimes got unpleasant and negative, often complaining and she started getting a bit demanding on me for not giving her a specific date when I would move to see her. I actually started considering it...

Then she started send me messages complaining about our relationship, saying how 'maybe we aren't suitable' or 'we were fighting alot', even asked me a couple of times 'maybe we should break up?'

I was also going through a difficult time with my health and my work and she knew this... anyway, thanks for RP subs I stumbled into this place and started reading and realized I made all this stupid mistakes.... and this isn't what I signed up for.

I got a bit tired of her demands and impatience, felt like she put her needs in front of my own needs and was a bit considerate unsupportive. So the next time we spoke on the phone I outright suggested we should end things. She actually said 'ok'. I repeated the question more than once and she kept saying if I flew there then 'everything would be fixed'. The call ended abruptly because her friend came home, and the next day / today I got bombarded by messages saying she's sorry, maybe she was too impatient, sorry for making me unhappy, how she misses me and loves me, maybe she can fly here to see me and talk face to face and 'fix things'.

I ignored most of her messages but since breaking up she said a couple of times that I am so 'cold blooded' because I didn't respond. She msged saying she's worried if I was ok, worried I got into an accident or something etc... so I eventually caved and texted again stating that it's over and I think we should do no contact.

I do feel terrible to see her suffering, and in the past 24 hours she's started sending me messages pleading to give another chance, saying how 'cold blooded' I am, sent me a photo of her crying with tears down her face... so far I have read her messages but not replied (I suppose I should've just blocked her on everything as soon as I've delivered but I didn't know if offering some support would be the right thing here). She then said she will buy a plane ticket over to see me this weekend. Now I worry she would just fly here and more drama would ensue so I'm thinking I need to make things clearer (or just say something like I won't be in the country)

I would really appreciate any advice/suggestions on what to do from here... I guess it's a 3 part question:

What is the best response from here, or better to have no response? What difference would it make if I just message, and say she won't be able to reach me from now and it's for the best we don't talk anymore and she won't be able to reach me for a while. Or should I give her a couple more days where she can ask me questions and I 'counsel' her? I also worry she could escalate to self harm etc. What is best for me?

Anything that I can do to help me gain more clarity and not waver on my decision? I made a list of pros and cons and I think I am clear on the reasons leading to the breakup (and there's alot of them). But there are definitely times where I feel unhappy about this outcome, especially if I meet other girls that seem worse. What besides gym / friends / keeping busy should I do? Does it help at all to GFTOW or should I try monk mode instead? Any books besides Rational Male I should read?

Did I do the right thing here or what should I have done differently? Should I have broke up with her while she was here with me, face to face? Should I have just kept it 'open' instead of breaking up? Should I be responding to her messages and offering better support now? I don't want to be an asshole about this since she wasn't bad to me and I already feel bad about this...

I am still a bit of a noob to red pill way of thinking, so thank you for any guidance here.

TLDR: Broke up with girl over phone and text due to long distance and conflicts, maybe incompatibility with values. But now I feel bad to see how unhappy/sad she is, and she's now insisting to fly over to see me to talk face to face, might have booked a ticket already. What should I say to make it clear without hurting her further and what's the best way for myself to stop wavering from the decision?