Escalation

EthicalReasoning · 2010-01-13T00:00:11+00:00

After they left, the natural and my friend chastised me for not noticing how the blonde had been eying me for the entire time. This is a point I want to stress. If you don't know where your hand is, how can you ever grab anything?

You need to pay more attention to the clues women give you, eyefucking is the most serious indicator that she is interested. If you're somehow missing this, have your friends point it out for you so you can reciprocate, but you really should be able to sense it on your own and pick up the clue and take it from there. Get more experience in the field until this comes totally natural to you.

I am worried about my escalation ability. Escalating to kissing/sex is my major sticking point. I can build comfort and all that but I routinely end in friend zone. I have some basic ideas on what to rock when I talk with her next but I would love some community advice.

You need to escale well before (and after) you get the phone number, don't worry about rushing into sex or kissing, but as soon as theres a sign of interest, you need to start initiating physical contact. Make it light initially and gauge her response and take it from there. If you skip making noticeable and obviously flirty/sexual physical contact and then get a phone number, you will almost certainly be in the friend zone when you call her and then you have to work your way out of that, it's easier to start off unknown rather than start as a friend. Without physical touch, her brain has registered you as a new friend rather than a male of undecided interest or potential sex partner.

How do I get over my escalation issues? I know it is better to over escalate rather than under escalate but I always feel awkward doing it.

Just do it. Make it casual and make it part of your flirting and interest habits, it has to be natural, if you're awkward about it they will receive it as awkward and you're toast.

Here's a few examples:

loud bar? lean into her ear and put your hand on her hip saying 'im going to get a drink' or 'im going to go paint my house with polka dots using my dick as a sponge' - what you're saying is irrelevant and should be relatively benign as to not initiate a response in and of itself, you are doing it to judge her response to your touch, linger just for a moment to gauge her response to your hand on her body, then walk away for a few minutes to do whatever you said were going to do. works in a quiet situation too, just lean in and whisper whatever you were to say.

cute chick next to you at a bar while you're both waiting to get drinks? have some small talk, work closer to the bar yourself while talking to her, then say something loud like 'this girl needs a drink' and gently pull her closer to the bar (and you) - you're now suggesting she buys a drink and you're initiating physical contact very early.

talking to a random girl on the street? assuming it's going well and immediately after she makes a (likely bad) joke or a ridiculous statement or something worth an exaggerated response to, gently grab her arm for just a second above the elbow and laugh or act exasperated or whatever expression is appropriate to the statement. trust me, if it's going well, there will be a chance.

cute girl studying at the library? pull out your dick and start jacking off on her face, screaming the national anthem and slapping her titties around like they're a punching bag. ok maybe not that.

a good rule is to get in the habit of hugging every girl you know or are about to know: date, blind date, recent or old friend/hookup/ex/friends mom/lunch lady/etc, if it has a vagina, hug it. even if there's zero attraction or interest, hug, you'll get used to initiating touch with girls, which is essential to escalating with her or someone else.

Fu_Man_Chu · 2010-01-12T11:39:31+00:00

You should be prepared to caveman it if necessary but only as a near last resort of course. For me escalation always happens when I'm mindful about kino. The talking, the comfort buildign strategies, the DHV gambits, etc; all of that is just to keep her close enough and occupied enough to be okay with me escalating kino as far as I'm concerned. So touchign the back should become hand holding, hand holding should become an arm aroudn the waist or over the shoulder, which should become hugging, which should become playful caressing of the neck and possibly light kissing of the neck or cheeks. By that time kissing just seems natural. It's all about small compliance hoops leading into slightly bigger ones so that she never feels like she's making a big leap.

Make sense?

2010-01-12T15:47:49+00:00

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2010-01-12T14:17:47+00:00

There's established stuff for this. Trust Test is a great way to get to touching. Evolution phase-shift also.

Personally, when I feel she's just waiting around too shy to start the kiss, hoping for it, I'll just keep staring at her right in the eye, a slight grin on my face, keeping quiet to the point of laconic. After a few minutes, she'll either start returning your gaze (in which case, DING!) or she'll get a bit coy/nervous (in which case, you can practically command her to come over to you for the kiss).

Of course, this will just seem creepy if you haven't established some comfort-building rapport beforehand, so I use this mostly when I knew she's waiting for me to initiate, like on a second date.

2010-01-12T11:55:08+00:00

Phone call should be fun and brief, geared to seeing her again. Find the DiCarlo Escalation model for use in physical presence.

DanielDoh · 2010-01-12T18:25:30+00:00

If you REALLY don't feel confident in starting off with other touching and escalating, just watch a movie on your couch, that's the easiest way to get close. Fu Man Chu's post is dead-on, though.

Title	Escalation
Author	Gambit-Sin
Upvotes	11
Comments	10
Date	January 12, 2010 5:43 AM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/aoie9/escalation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/escalation.1309726 https://theredarchive.com/post/1309726

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