[FR] Least I can say I'm putting myself out there. Conversationalist/Moment issues!

unsexyMF · 2011-02-17T06:21:43+00:00

I suggest that you read 60 Years of Challenge (it's a 4 PDF torrent floating around somewhere). If you're still having these issues about not knowing what to say after reading that, come back to me.

If you want to ooze sex, read my last field report.

Also, as far as "being alpha" is concerned, read this.

EDIT: Just noticed that I already told you about 60 in one of your previous posts. Eventually I'll make a link to it.

EDIT 2: I feel like you deserve better advice. Here's my best shot:

When I go into a bar, my thought process is, "Some fraction of these women want to dance or make out with me, and a decent percentage of those women want to sleep with me. Time to figure out who!" So I usually go up to girls with a direct approach. Maybe I'll say something like "I think you're cute" or make a comment about what she's wearing. I'll ask some stupid questions like "How was your day?" or "What led you here tonight?" while trying to get some kino in. Often I'll try to drag her to the dance floor or do something else silly.

When you ask a girl an open-ended question that can't be answered with something simple like "Yes", "No", or "Heineken", it gives her an opportunity to talk, taking the pressure off of you. She'll give you more stuff to work with, then conversation will come more naturally. I just signed up for an improv class, and if you have the opportunity to do the same, I'd recommend it - it would really help you in coming up with stuff to talk about on-the-spot.

I've had the best success by meeting girls at the bar and taking them to the dance floor. I have met girls on the dance floor, but it's a bit more difficult to break into a group of girls dancing with each other. I used to be the guy that would dance by himself and hope to bump into another girl, but I don't like that approach anymore - it's too indirect and usually doesn't go anywhere. What I like to do is just go up to a girl and tell her "I want to get my groove on!" followed by some silly dance moves. Either that, or you could do the wordless opener where you walk up to a girl and hold out your hand (palm up), expecting her to go with you.

I think you need to be a little more direct with what you want, and not think so much in "PUA mode." Go for it and have fun. Good luck.

frogma · 2011-02-17T07:27:15+00:00

I go into PUA mode and think "Ok, go in, Opener/Transition into Attraction!

Don't think about it that way. Those are things to think about before going out, like when you're just sitting at home. Internalize the ideas and the mindset so you're not completely lost when you're out, but otherwise just go. If you get blown out for whatever reason- or if things seem to be going sour- take a split second to think about what happened and immediately get yourself into a more positive state. In other words, forget it and keep going.

I know dancing by yourself works like a magnet sometimes, but I personally don't usually do that. I just pick a girl and start grinding. If it seems like she's expecting you to say something, say something- if not, just dance and escalate. The worst that can happen is she apologizes and makes up some bullshit, or she has a friend come rescue her- and that rarely happens.

As for the talking, that'll get better over time. Watch how fun guys banter and take a cue from them. Less questions, more statements/teases. Body language and tone go a long way. A loser can say the same shit as a cool guy, but the loser gets shafted while the cool guy gets laughs all around. The thing is, it's very easy to "manipulate" perceptions. The girl's gotta evaluate you based purely on what you're like in THAT moment- so she can really only judge you by your body language. If you perceive yourself as a cool motherfucker, she's gonna think so too.

Title	[FR] Least I can say I'm putting myself out there. Conversationalist/Moment issues!
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	5
Date	February 17, 2011 6:02 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/fn0rv/fr_least_i_can_say_im_putting_myself_out_there/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-least-i-can-say-im-putting-myself-out-there.1315657 https://theredarchive.com/post/1315657

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