I'm 28 years old, straight, male, and British. I was in a relationship from my early-teens until I was about 23. Since that relationship ended I haven't had another. Nor have I had a kiss, cuddle, or shag in the last five years. I haven't really tried to, besides a couple of internet dates and the occasional awkward, abortive attempt at random flirting. I'd like to change this. Besides the sexual frustration and loneliness that I feel, I want to put an end to the doubts I sometimes have about myself as a man (that no-one will ever want me, that I'm ugly, inferior, repulsive, sexually unappealing, inadequate etc.). Some of the things I've come across on r/seduction seem like they might help me to modify some of my behaviours and attitudes, improve myself, and move forward, and I'd like your advice, suggestions, and recommendations as to what to read, do, watch, and learn.

But I have some concerns too. Firstly, I don't like the underlying misogyny that I see in some of the PUA/seduction culture online. Secondly, I'm not interested in putting on an artificial character when meeting women. I want to learn to present myself as the best I can be (and work towards truly becoming the best I can be), but I'm not willing to deceive. Thirdly, some of the material that I've seen seems to encourage a kind of self-hate, an attitude that as one currently is, one is a failure (a chump), and that only by learning to become someone else (even temporarily) can one succeed in love, sex, and relationships. I don't buy that shit. I'm only interested in positive, empowering, compassionate material. I want to identify, understand, accept, and ultimately transcend my current difficulties. I am not interested in learning to feel or be better than other men and women. I’m interested in learning to improve myself.

About me. Physically I'm overweight but maybe not quite 'fat', I'm taller than average, have a very, very hairy body, have manboobs (the kind that can't be exercised entirely away), and am OK-looking at best. I'm a moderate introvert, am quiet and self-effacing, somewhat shy in unstructured social situations, and have few friends (all of whom are female). I'm prone to mild depression and am managing this reasonably well with medication and will be joining a gym in the next couple of weeks. In terms of my interactions with others, as far as I can tell I'm seen as kind, funny, lawful-good, highly intelligent and generally confident, if a little anxious. I get along well with people but struggle to relate to and am intimidated by young men (under 40-50 years old). In the workplace I'm confident, assertive when necessary, and highly cooperative. I'm extremely non-competitive and always have been. I think I'm seen as a genuinely nice and confident guy with a wicked sense of humour but also as someone who takes a long time to open up to people and show these aspects of my personality.

When speaking with women that I find attractive, I feel intimidated by their beauty, awkward, terrified of their sexual experience (which is almost certainly far greater than mine), worried about how I come across, and prone to self-deprecation and validation-seeking. However, I've been told that these problems aren't as apparent to the woman as they feel and that I project a quietly confident attitude, which is nice to hear but hard to believe.

Thank you for reading this, and thanks in advance for your help, advice and reading recommendations.