Brief background: I'm a 23-year old virgin. Started getting involved with game stuff about early 2011. Still very much a beginner, but have overcome some major hurdles like approach anxiety and self-confidence. Slow progress, but better than no progress at all.

Went out with some friends last night. It was one of those things where a friend of a friend brought friends, two of them important for this discussion; let's call them HB7 and HB9.

(The quoted portion below contains details about the night that I just found fun to write, but don't have direct relevance to my point. Skip it if you'd like.)

We were all sitting at a table at the back of a tequila bar, just making some decent conversation, nothing of note here. Occasionally I would interject and say/do/make a facial expression that would make the aforementioned two girls smile or laugh. Blah blah blah. Nothing too important. I also made some humdrum approaches at this bar, nothing to write home about though (mostly just openings and name exchanges, pretty lame). Then we bounced, headed to a dance bar across the street.

We got drinks, more blah, talked a bit with my friends. Loud music. HB7 and HB9 are some great dancers, so they start dancing with each other next to the table. HB7's pretty raunchy and starts "grinding" on HB9 a couple inches away. I laugh. My caveman instinct takes over and I walk over, take 2-3 fingers from each hand, put them on their shoulders, and nudge them closer. They really get into it. The group laughs.

A bit later, on the order of 10-20 seconds, they start butt-grinding. For whatever reason, a switch goes off in my brain: "Now's my chance!" I jump in and butt-grind with them in a hot three-way. lol. We're laughing, having a good time.

Some specifics happen, don't remember them really, but HB7 starts grinding her ass in front of me. I jokingly shout something to the effect of, "Whoa, is THAT what we're doing now! That's a little soon, don't you think? I just met you!" I think the music was too loud for HB9 to hear me say that, but it made HB7 laugh. As far as I was concerned, it was just another DHV for the HB9.

By this point, HB9 is behind me, so I work my way backwards and butt-grind her frontal region. (I swear there is no nerdier way to write that.) She's having a blast. So there I am, grinding with two girls, one in front, one in back. I understand for a lot of you, this is probably nothing, but for me, this demonstrated huge progress since even a year ago, so it's something I'm kinda proud of. Anyway, needless to say, it was excellent DHV for all the nearby sets if I ended up approaching them that night (didn't). A male friend from the group gets pulled in and we do a boy-girl-boy-girl grind line. Haha it was funny.

Alright, song ends. Music gets quieter. I thought, great opportunity to talk with HB9. We talk. I ask her what she does, she asks the same of me. She's a bit impressed with my profession, and asks for specifics. IOI. Somehow her age came up, I asked her that, etc. etc. (probably shouldn't have, it was fucking irrelevant, really). Through this entire conversation, I kind of stood with my shoulder toward her, and her boobs would rub against my shoulder every time she leaned in toward my ear to talk. Considering the circumstances, I think her boob-rubbing was avoidable, so I considered that as a series of IOIs.

And then BOOM. I didn't know what to do. I calmly walked a few steps away to go back to talk with my male friends. Yes, that's what I did. At the time, I convinced myself that I was push-pulling. In hindsight, I don't really think it works that way in this stage of pick-up. Major fail.

In Mystery jargon, I'd built substantial attraction, but then completely blew it and got entirely lost in the comfort stage. This is only one example of many where I fall into the same trap, over and over again. I can't fucking escalate in the comfort stage. Some pointers would be much appreciated.