My apologies if this was any of you although given the amount of twirling of his mark that was going on, I suspect it wasn't. So, quick and dirty: I have a band, we play a few regular gigs in Manhattan, where we're on very good terms with the club owners and managers, and on any given night we have a few very good friends in the audience and a few people who came specifically to hear us. Last night, in our 3rd set an ersatz PUA interrupts the set (in between songs) to demand we play something he and his target can dance to. We play jazz. It's fundamentally dance music. We had a pretty 'up' tune next on the set list, so I remarked "depends on how fast you can dance," before turning to my singer and calling a different tune that generally gets people dancing (and did).

He and his target 'dance' for a minute or so (she was really enjoying it, all he had to do was keep moving), before he stops...and then tries to just twirl her a few times, before leaning in for the kiss (which he could have taken!) and then awkwardly making eye contact with me and aborting mid-kiss lean. WTF dude.

Now, I realized in retrospect that I unintentionally AMOGed him, and what I did after the set didn't help. I said to him "I thought you two were gonna dance! We deserve some entertainment up here!" Felt shitty afterwards, but now I'm starting to think that a lot of what gets called AMOGing is just friendly(ish) banter, and if you agree and escalate, you'll do fine. Just don't get butthurt. He tried to give me a hard time about how we made an awkward scene, and "didn't play anything danceable," meanwhile people all around us had been dancing.

BOTTOM LINE: Confidence is hugely important, and just faking it could have gotten this guy what he wanted. Instead, he came dangerously close to being publicly ridiculed by a group of musicians and entertainers performing on their turf to their friends. So, seriously, never antagonize the band. Or the club owner. Or your server/barista/person-who-controls-what-your-experience-will-be-in-some-way. Frankly, as musicians, our job is to help you get laid...we want that. And servers/baristas/club owners, etc. will give you free shit if you're nice on a consistent enough basis; making you look like a well-connected, well-liked High Value guy.

Here's how to do that next time. In between sets, not songs, come say hi to the band. Tell them you think they're great, and you're here with a date who loves X,Y,Z (give us something with a few options, and it better be related), and her name is Derpette (or whatever). If you don't know here name or what she likes, you're not doing it right. Chances are we will then play a song for Herp (you) and Derpette(her), and probably have the bar send you free shots. If nothing else, we give a shout-out to Derpette.

EDIT: BTW, I'm totally in a LTR and loving it. Seddit has, however, given me some excellent tips that have gone a long way toward both strengthening my relationship, and strengthening my career (seriously). This dude last night just needed some guidance, so hopefully the above is useful to some of you.