Example 1: When I was joking around with a coworker and pushing A&A to absurdity & demonstrating amused mastery by telling her, “I’m her new boss” and telling her jokingly to open envelopes in the mailroom for me (normally my duty but we were just having fun), I just froze while trying to find a word to describe the envelopes; I don’t know why. I redeemed myself about a minute later, though.

Example 2: When I met my company’s CEO and told him the story of how I found his graduation ring (which is why I got to meet him in the first place; as a gesture of gratitude), I froze for like 30 seconds mid-sentence, and I don’t know why. He didn’t even mention it.

I can think of countless other examples that have been popping up throughout my life, particularly around girls & powerful people when I try to be spontaneous and “myself.” I basically have to have a script before every social interaction & have rehearsed it in my head before, or else this happens. I’m very self-conscious about it, and it’s a frame-killer that gives away who I really am (a spergy omega).

Example 3: Another coworker told me that I forgot to unstaple invoices. I replied, in surprise, “Wait, you’re telling me invoices were stapled... sta... sta...” I stuttered for like 30 more seconds before finally finding the right word.

I don’t know how to stop this. I always say the wrong thing unintentionally.