Just want to say something real quick about how you interact with women you don't intend on escalating. I had a situation this weekend that came back to bite me today, and it was totally unintentional:

There's a new friend in the group of people I hang out with. I'll call her J. She's new to me, at least, because she just turned 21 and I really only hang out with these people at the bar. I met her on her 21st birthday, and she seemed interested so I escalated over the course of the night, only to find out at the end of the night that she has a boyfriend. Whoops.

No problem, I think. But over these last couple weeks since then, I've been my normal self (read: flirty, touchy-feely, the way I am with all girls), which can consist of a number of different types of comment. For example, the other night I leaned in to a friend of a friend at the bar and said "Baby, you so fine you make me want to get a JOB." Total joke and it's obviously done up to a ridiculous level so as to get a laugh. I made a similar comment to this girl J, joking that if she were single I would love to get shot down by her. Self deprecating, totally harmless.

The problem is that she seemed to get the impression that these flirty actions in combination with the flirty comments were serious. And after the bars closed on Saturday, we were all hanging out in a friend's apartment, and I happened to pat her on her knee while making some comment. Immediately, I knew something was wrong, because she quickly pulled her leg up underneath her and sort of clammed up. Unfortunately, the end of the evening is a little bit hazy to me, thanks to some wine that had been had at the friend's apartment.

And then today happens. I get a Facebook message from her boyfriend, saying that if I ever touch her again, there's "gonna be a problem between you and me." I did a fair job of convincing him that I had no designs on his girlfriend, primarily because I think it's a shitty thing to just try and snake a girl out while her boyfriend is right there in front of you, and also because I don't think I could really trust a girl who cheated on her boyfriend with me. So he seems fine with it, we had a laugh about the whole situation and how fucked up it seemed, and he wanted me to keep it just between us that he'd talked to me, since she had asked him not to.

I told him that if she was acting normal the next time I saw her, I'd keep quiet about it, but that I'd bring the situation between her and me up if she was acting weird. And that's exactly what I'm worried about: that she's gonna be weird about it and I'm going to have to try and convince her that I'm NOT some creepy guy who hits on girls that have boyfriends.

So yeah. Be careful, or at least aware, of how your game might creep into ordinary interactions with women, especially women you aren't trying to seduce. A lack of attention on my part may mean that shit gets really awkward, and it could happen to you, too.