[FR] One of an AFC's very few

mysexualpast · 2011-11-20T20:37:39+00:00

Try to think of it from her perspective:

"I was at a party with some friends of mine. It was mostly girls, but I kept making EC with this one hot guy. He was dancing with a bunch of girls, so despite his EC I figured he wasn't interested in me since he never came over.

Finally once his friends left I decided to approach him. Luckily he was into me (and not gay!). After dancing a while he asked what we should do. I didn't want to seem too easy. He asked me to come home with him, and I told him nothing was going to happen, even though we both knew something probably would.

It took me a while to find my stuff and tell my roommates where I was going so they wouldn't worry. I also had to make sure that my bits smelled nice and clean and that my make-up and hair looked ok. I was worried he would get bored and leave, but luckily he was there waiting.

We talked at his place for a while. It was nice, but I kept waiting for him to make a move. Was he not attracted to me? I was surprised he didn't make a move on the couch. He offered me the choice of sleeping on the couch or sharing his bed. I suppose he thought it was gentlemanly, but he really should have just suggested his bed, or even assumed.

We lay down in his bed together. Finally, he made a move to kiss me! I was relieved. We made out for a while. He obviously liked it, but never tried to take my clothes off. I didn't want to seem like too much of a slut by escalating things, but since he never pushed things, all we did was dry hump. Shame, a big part of me wanted to get laid."

tl;dr: she WANTED you to make a move. You put her in the position where either she had to be the aggressor or nothing would happen. Fair or not, it's generally the guy's role to put sex on the table and escalate things. Some of the best nights of my life started with the girl(s) involved saying things like "Nothing is going to happen" and "I never do this..."

It actually sounds like you didn't have too much in common with her aside from physical attraction. I'll add that the fact the movie sucked was a perfect excuse to make out with her. In my past I would intentionally suggest movies I wasn't interested in just so I could make out through half of it and not care, but we all know movie dates aren't the greatest overall.

Part of me is thinking you kind of want your first time to be with someone you have deeper feelings for than just some girl you meet at a party, although I bet part of you just wants to be done with the whole virgin thing. Obviously you can get girls that you are attracted to to come home with you (leaving their own house to do so!). When you really want it to happen, it's going to happen for you.

stewsky · 2011-11-20T00:07:36+00:00

wait she was in your bed and dry humping you, but you didn't have sex? did you escalate at all and try to make it happen?

hawktalk · 2011-11-20T00:33:20+00:00

Nice work. A few things:

What strategy are you talking about? There was really no strategy to your night at all. You were attractive and she was attracted! That's all there is to it. When approaching, assume the girl is already attracted to you. Every day when you wake up, list the reasons in your head why you're an awesome guy, the reasons why any girl would be lucky to have you. And if you're short on reasons, spend your free time creating reasons.

The brush against her shoulder was a good way to get her attention but maybe too subtle.

Don't ask the girl what she wants to do, tell her what you want to do ("I've got a bottle of wine and a movie at my house I really want to watch, let's go watch it.") If she's down, you're good to go. If not, keep building attraction until she changes her mind. If she's stubborn, go be social with other women. Who knows, the first girl might change her mind then.

Pickup really isn't a "game." At least Seddit doesn't treat it that way. The whole "game" concept is a trick to make real life sound less intimidating. Seddit gives you rules and advice to play the game correctly, but eventually you learn it's a huge hoax, and you've just been tricked into making yourself a more confident, social, and well-rounded person. You eventually realize there are no rules and there is no game; there's just confident, interesting people and people who haven't realized their potential yet. So keep being you and keep having fun.

EDIT: Forgot to add: you could have almost definitely had sex with that girl if you wanted to. She was all over you but still reluctant. If you turn a girl on enough by slowly getting more and more physical, there will come a point where you'll have her begging you to fuck her brains out. That's called escalating. Follow your morals of course, and try to follow her morals, too (be a good human being), but know that a girl may be itching to have sex with you but still needs a bit more physical convincing.

Title	[FR] One of an AFC's very few
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	9
Date	November 19, 2011 11:10 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/migqk/fr_one_of_an_afcs_very_few/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-one-of-an-afcs-very-few.1325030 https://theredarchive.com/post/1325030

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