First date and done.....Seddit - i need your help.

sinking_sunk · 2012-03-20T09:15:37+00:00

Start the second date during the first date. There is a right way and wrong way to do this.

The wrong way is to overtly hint/state your interest in a second date. Don't try to "sell yourself" in order to get a second date. Don't immediately accept her so long as you think it will get you a second date. You should fairly confident of the 2nd date at the end of the first date. The shotgun approach does NOT work and makes you seem desperate.

The right way is first, to act like she is in a job interview for someone you are going to hire. You don't want to piss her off in case you DO hire her (i.e. have crazy standards), but you're going to call her out on her shit or at least challenge her at certain points.

Second, strike a balance between foreshadowing the 2nd date and being ambiguous if you are going to continue seeing her. For example, she says she likes basketball. "Oh, I know a great gym on Fleet street. It's been a while, but I used to play there with my friends. I'd invite you, but...you might be intimidated by my dunking skills (assuming you can't dunk)." If she takes the bait, then you're good. But keep the TENSION. Don't just be like, "sweet, let's do basketball next week."

Third, "What's in it for her?" If she mentions she likes tiramasu, well damn, you know a great place to get tiramisu (even if you don't, you forgot the name, etc.) Research. Then, "Hey, I was going to get some great italian, want to come with? I figured I might need a quality judge of tiramisu."

To sum, at the end of the first date, you and (ideally) her should have a general idea where the next date should take place. This is thanks to your work doing the first date. But keep her in the dark whether or not that the 2nd date will happen or you will or will not call her.

2012-03-20T03:30:16+00:00

On first dates I talk about my interests and find out what she's like and what her beliefs and interests are. Do you do something that is a turn off to a lot of women?

breadrising · 2012-03-20T16:59:16+00:00

This isn't really an easy question to answer without knowing you... I suggest you ask people who do know you.

2012-03-20T19:54:09+00:00

Okay, I guess I'll actually try to be helpful. If you're getting first dates from meeting people in person, you've passed the attractiveness test. If you're meeting people via the internet and you're not getting second dates, it could be the reason.

Things to do / not to do on a first date (these should be obvious, but you never know...): (1) Don't discuss possible future plans. No: "I have Caps tickets for next week, if you're interested?" Let the ladies wonder if you ever want to see them again and be pleasantly surprised when you do. (2) Don't bring up your ex. (Assuming you have one) (3) Don't talk about any of your self-esteem or body image problems. (4) Be nice and polite to your date, the waitress, whatever. (5) Don't be a creep. Don't ask intensely personal questions. Don't try to go home with her. Seriously. (6) Be positive. Even if you're a really negative person all the time, tone it down. Smile, and make a little bit of eye contact. (7) Make non-creepy physical contact and have good body language. If you're sitting next to her (as opposed to across a table from her) tap her arm while you're making a point. Angle your body towards hers oh-so-slightly. Sit close to her, but if she moves away, stop. (8) Act interested in what's going on in her life. Ask questions. Things to talk about on dates: jobs, life experience so far, hobbies, sports, politics, family/upbringing, life goals, taste in music... always ask about favorite restaurants/bars, etc. because then you'll know where to go on the second date. (9) I know this totally goes against what the seduction community tells you, but it's good to get a hug at the end of the date and then just walk away. If you want to work on getting women in clubs to make out with you, I guess that's fine. But a lot of women are much more careful/cautious about who they sleep with, and unless you've completely got your game down, a lot of seduction community behavior is just creepy and not hot at all.

DonWaan · 2012-03-20T08:03:02+00:00

Fuck talking on the ~~first~~ any dates before you fuck. Early stages are all about kinoing and getting sticky fingers. Keep the deep convos until after you discover she has a hairy asshole.

Go bowling, teach her to ice skate/roller blade/skateboard/ski, go to a gun range, shoot hoops, whatever bullshit it takes to have playful fun the first few dates.

Title	First date and done.....Seddit - i need your help.
Author	change1331
Upvotes	4
Comments	8
Date	March 20, 2012 2:09 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/r4g25/first_date_and_doneseddit_i_need_your_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/first-date-and-doneseddit-i-need-your-help.1330210 https://theredarchive.com/post/1330210

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