I've started dating for first time in my life, should I and how do I avoid oneitis?

baldrad · 2012-06-12T05:10:49+00:00

honestly, you got in a relationship, you need to focus on the relationship.

the whole "Sex with tons of girls to make up for lost time" is overrated. there isn't a magic number you are supposed to be at when you are at a certain age, there is no lost time... focus on the past and you will never be able to enjoy the present...

SoupOnAStick_62 · 2012-06-12T06:34:09+00:00

I think the answer to your question really depends on what exactly you're looking for from girls. Do you just want sex? Do you just want fun? Do you just want love? Do you not have any specific goals in mind? Oneitis is (in my opinion) bad, no matter which of the above you're looking for, because no one should ever depend on another human being for personal validity. An attractive girl / guy should never be a substitute for self-respect.

leodoestheopposite · 2012-06-13T02:43:16+00:00

It's very cliché: you fall in love with the first woman that you have sex with.

Even more cliché: she breaks your heart.

(YES it happened to me, NO I am not bitter)

You're a virgin, I would concentrate on getting a taste of the pie, before you start planning an all you can eat buffet.

P.S.: The food is a metaphor.

kingcal · 2012-06-12T10:34:20+00:00

I'm in a somewhat similar situation. Not a virgin, but not a whole lot of experience either. I just recently got into seduction, and I've got two girls that I've been seeing lately. Both seem like they want relationships, but after 24 years of being an AFC, I'm not really ready to stop gaming yet. It's a lot of fun, and having two girls into you at the same time is a huge ego boost.

I asked a similar question last week, and the general response was to be honest with these girls. If they ever bring up the subject of being in a relationship, say you're not looking for anything serious, you just want to keep things casual, etc... Don't lead them on into thinking it's an exclusive thing because shit will get messy fast.

UnapologeticalyAlive · 2012-06-12T17:51:05+00:00

If you think you'll fall for the first girl who shows any interest in you, what does that say about you? It means you think you don't deserve female attention, and you'll go nuts the minute you get a little bit of it.

You do deserve female attention, and you can get it. It's okay to date multiple girls at the same time. There's no need to jump into a relationship right away. When you go out on a date, you're not committing to anything aside from that date. You're not under any obligation to ever call her again after that. That's how it works. They're probably all dating multiple guys at the same time, too.

You don't want a girlfriend until you've gotten so good with girls that you can recognize that one of them is ten thousand times better than all the rest, and that she's just as interested in a relationship as you are. If you've only dated one girl, you can't possibly know she's better than the rest, because you don't have anything to compare her to.

Title	I've started dating for first time in my life, should I and how do I avoid oneitis?
Author	Pass4851
Upvotes	2
Comments	12
Date	June 12, 2012 5:05 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uxgm6/ive_started_dating_for_first_time_in_my_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/ive-started-dating-for-first-time-in-my-life.1333998 https://theredarchive.com/post/1333998

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