The difference between 'nice' and 'kind', and why nice guys finish last.

TattedGuyser · 2014-04-01T14:01:09+00:00

Unfortunately, society raises our kids with the idea that 'kind' doesn't exist and only 'nice' exists. I can think of examples going all the way back to grade school. Do something 'kind' for a girl, like help her out? "Ohhhh you like her don't you!". And that exact same mentality never leaves, right up until adulthood. How many girlfriends have people had where if you are even remotely friendly to another girl you must have some hidden agenda.

It is true there are two very different forms of being nice, but unfortunately most people will only ever recognize one.

[deleted] · 2014-04-01T02:12:00+00:00

Good point there man. Was just running into a metal loop of wondering why it was seen as weak to help others, when in reality it was weak if there's underlying intentions to helping out.

There will always be a subconscious underlying motive, but if you can pull it out and get it out there, tends to make life a lot easier.

vandaalen · 2014-04-01T07:00:04+00:00

Problem is: The nice guys lie to themselves and others by assuring that they don't do it with the intention to get something in return, but because they are such altruists and philantropes.

It changes everything if you accept that you are a sneaky little bastard who's full of dishonest shit. Makes you feel much more free.

In fact, if you do things with that in mind, it allows you to be without anger when you get nothing back. It's like a failed investment then and not like an insult.

Source: Been there myself.

T-bear96 · 2014-04-01T05:43:02+00:00

I disagree with the definition of nice; you're definition is more on the line of selfish, manipulative, etc.

Niceness is doing what's socially acceptable to do because it's expected, despite your needs and wants. The nice guy acts in a way that's socially acceptable to girls such as treating them like a princess, doing all of their desires, seeing their family, etc.

Essentially the nice guy is the yes-man.

The kind man is no better than the nice man for the kind man is still doing what's socially acceptable, gaining favors, etc

I'd argue for the just man. The man who takes action despite what's socially acceptable, and regardless whether it curries favor or not. He seeks justice, truth, and upholds his virtues regardless of the outcome - this is the ideal man; this is the man who stands up for the weak, up against tyrants, and what's best for society: he is The Man.

NobodygoingNowhere · 2014-04-02T13:30:26+00:00

I like to do nice things for people because I genuinely enjoy doing the right thing.

I've learned to draw the line when my kindness comes from a place of weakness and not strength.

Idrinkjdbythegallon · 2014-04-01T06:56:49+00:00

The last paragraph is gold except for one thing. While I'll help people out because of abundance I do expect them to remember. I collect favors. Everyone owes me. Do I need or want anything now? No, but I might in the future and it helps my rep

Edit: you'll never get half of anything you put in back. Don't expect it and you won't be disappointed. Like I said tho I'm a lucky guy and I really enjoy helping others

[deleted] · 2014-04-01T05:36:29+00:00

I find a lot of people in society seem to actually use the word nice for other traits. Women are taught to like nice people, so subconsciously they are starting to connect 'nice' and 'attractive'. I don't always take it a bad way. I've seen women say "Hes such a nice guy" with a tone of attraction in their voice. The same brainwashing that goes on with men goes on with women too.

[deleted] · 2014-04-01T07:03:35+00:00

It makes sense. I help people out at school to be kind, I've never asked anything of anyone, at least in response. But you've got to remember to separate the kind part of you and the "I don't take shit" part of you, otherwise people can walk all over you.

magical_artist · 2014-04-01T08:46:29+00:00

Interesting.

peyzman · 2014-04-01T09:12:19+00:00

Elliot made a nice video about this, check it out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPDPtt-eCn0

[deleted] · 2014-04-01T16:51:04+00:00

"One good turn deserves another", a well-worn phrase that can be turned in several ways. To me it means if you do something good for someone else, that might be you getting the good turn from someone else down the road. But some may see it as if I'm nice to you you can be nice to me.

The former should be stressed, the latter debunked.

icanteventhecat · 2014-04-01T18:26:07+00:00

Even with an abundance mentality, kindness is only a renewable resource, i.e., it has to be renewed from somewhere, i.e., kindness from others.

There are too many men who expend precious kindness on the most undeserving of women, leaving little left for men, family, or deserving women.

Fundumpsters · 2014-04-01T21:56:37+00:00

Always when asked to do something from a woman smirk and reply "What's in it for me?"

Title	The difference between 'nice' and 'kind', and why nice guys finish last.
Author	T-bear96
Upvotes	48
Comments	24
Date	April 1, 2014 12:48 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/21vnxd/the_difference_between_nice_and_kind_and_why_nice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/the-difference-between-nice-and-kind-and-why-nice.13369 https://theredarchive.com/post/13369

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