~ archived since 2018 ~

I don't drink, Looking for a good place to pick up and close without any alcohol, anyone know a good places, tactics?

valex231 · 2012-10-25T17:18:36+00:00

I am in Vancouver BTW. So far coffee shops were good places, but its difficult to get anywhere fast from them....

valex231

October 25, 2012

4 upvotes

/r/seduction

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

PDF TXT EPUB

Post Information

Title	I don't drink, Looking for a good place to pick up and close without any alcohol, anyone know a good places, tactics?
Author	valex231
Upvotes	4
Comments	19
Date	October 25, 2012 5:18 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/122p45/i_dont_drink_looking_for_a_good_place_to_pick_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-dont-drink-looking-for-a-good-place-to-pick-up.1341720 https://theredarchive.com/post/1341720

Comments

[–]Shpirt 6 points7 points8 points 13 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]knockoutking 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]turbojosef 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]Jemaclus 6 points7 points8 points 13 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

As a teetotaler, I can't tell you how many times I've gone to a bar and talked to women and then had them roll their eyes and walk off when they realize I don't have a drink, when I order a non-alcoholic beverage, or when I politely decline to take a shot with them.

As a non-drinker, it's awkward for me to be in an environment in which everyone participates in a popular ritual and I do not. Imagine someone buying shots for a crowd. There are 8 people toasting and taking shots at once... and there's me with my soda. It's not the same. For those few minutes, I'm not part of the group. I lose any momentum or kino or whatever the hell you call it during those moments.

Why would I want to put myself in that environment? Why would I want to be in a situation where I'm uncomfortable and not participating?

I wouldn't.

In my online dating profiles, I mention up front that I'm a non-drinker. I get messages all the time and they say "Do you really NEVER drink?" When I confirm that I do not drink, I never hear from them again.

Is alcohol really that essential to having fun? I don't think so, but apparently most people do. And you know, maybe OP and I want to go somewhere where people realize alcohol isn't required to have fun, to meet people who can laugh, socialize, and have good conversation (and yes, go home with me) without the need for alcohol.

And as an extra note, you shouldn't tell OP to just "order something else". He didn't ask what to do in a bar when he doesn't drink -- he asked for tips on where to go and how to close in places other than a bar.

And please keep in mind that for some people, drinking is simply not an option. Maybe OP is a minor. Maybe there's a health situation to consider, as is the case with me. Maybe a bar just isn't an acceptable place to be.

OP, I don't have any advice for you other than to just go where there's lots of people. Museums, concerts, street fairs, etc, and just talk to people.

[–]puntingbaxter 4 points5 points6 points 13 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]Jemaclus -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]puntingbaxter 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]Jemaclus -5 points-4 points-3 points 13 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]puntingbaxter 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[+]Jemaclus -9 points-8 points-7 points 13 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I think you skipped the other reasons -- the inability to be included in the activity, the loud, dark atmosphere. The girl thing was just one of many reasons that you latched on to for some reason.

I could go on for quite awhile about why bars aren't my thing, and only a portion of it has to do with me not drinking alcohol. (For one thing, I have a severe hearing loss which makes loud environments such as bars not an ideal place to talk to people. Does telling them I'm a DD help with that? Not really.)

And as I mentioned in my original comment, there are many, many, many reasons that are perfectly valid as to why someone might not go to a bar. Maybe they're a minor. Maybe they're a recovering alcoholic. Maybe they were abused by alcoholic parents. Maybe they don't like loud places or dark places. Maybe they can't afford to spend a ton of money on alcohol. Maybe they're religious. Maybe... I could go on.

You're the one who appears to be missing the point. I'm trying to explain why when someone asks for ideas about what to do outside of a bar, a proper answer isn't "tell them you're a DD" or "order club soda instead". But somehow you keep coming back to "Tell them you're a DD". Why is that?

I have a perfectly fine attitude, by the way. But we're online, so it's not so easy to tell.

It's a little hard to get subtext when you're just reading text on a screen. People tend to project what they're feeling or thinking onto others, and people perceive something as an attack on them when it's not an attack. This happens to everyone. A lot. It's the basis for road rage, actually, and the reason why men seem to think it's okay to harass women online. Something about not visualizing the other person as an actual person, but rather as an abstract entity (read: words on a screen), thereby reducing the empathetic value that is attached to the other person. (TLDR; lulz, ur just words on a screen, who cares what u think? lulz)

With that in mind, let me be perfectly clear: I'm not attacking you. I'm pointing out why your answers are inappropriate for this conversation and are unproductive. Are they good ideas? Maybe for someone who does go to bars. But not for me, and not for OP. I apologize if you feel as if I'm telling you you're stupid or whatever you think it is I'm doing. I'm not. I'm trying to explain why, in this situation, you're just wrong.

However, it's hard for me to mistake your intentions: insulting my reading comprehension skills? Not cool, man. I can clearly read just fine.

You're the one who's not listening. Sorry, dude. :)

With that said, let's reboot.

Let's assume that OP and I do not ever want to set foot in a bar again. Let's assume that the reasons don't matter (because, let's face it, they don't). Let's assume that alcohol is not something we consume in any shape, form or fashion.

Where would we go in a city like Vancouver to pick up and close? What tactics might we use? Most of seddit's situational advice and FRs revolve around going to a bar. I get it. It's popular. But what about those places that aren't in a bar? Do the same techniques apply? If not, why? How should we adjust them to fit a situation in which neither the girl nor I am inebriated?

You are clearly a well-adjusted, confident PUA who can walk into a bar, tell someone you're the DD, not drink a drop of alcohol, and still close. Can you do it outside of a bar? If so, what do you do differently?

In the interest of avoiding a back-and-forth like we had above, I'll be blunt: I'm serious. I'm not being sarcastic. I'm genuinely interested in what you have to say.

[–]puntingbaxter 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Your condescending, sarcastic, high-horse attitude shows.

I'm convinced it's not the not drinking thing.

With that said, go to a place where people are.

It's not that hard, if you don't drink, go anywhere you see people gathering.

You see a cute girl at the mall working in a maternity store... go in and talk to her.

You see a cute girl reading a book on the corner you pass on the way to your apartment... go talk to her.

It doesn't matter where you are, there are opportunities to talk to women as long as there are women present in that place.

I don't live in Vancouver so I can't give you the demographics of the places with tons of women. Maybe you and the OP should go out more. Find where all the women go to.

All the techniques/routines/whatever is all the same. If you can't adjust to the places appropriately then learn until you do.

But, if you don't have success in a bar where there is a higher percentage of women wanting to hook up, then I suggest practicing there until you do.

[–][deleted] 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]anduin2000 3 points4 points5 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]uberafc 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zonoc 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link