Intro and location

Hello, I want to submit my field report of an approach I did early this week, and I hope to share my advice but also receive tips and pointers in return. I've only being doing the 'game' properly for about 2 weeks and been out in the city centre 3 or 4 times. Prior to seddit, I had a 4 week dating period with a girl and a 8 month relationship with another, both I approached but did not know about the 'game' - I thought it was luck. So I am by no means an expert, however I have had early success.

So I went into the city centre to improve my confidence approaching and to buy a birthday card (I also want a reason to go into the city centre). I did some warm-up exercises, so I approached several women and guys to gain confidence for the bigger sets. I find this a nice indirect way to approach women, merely to ask for directions and to joke with them. I'm not gay but approaching guys helps gain confidence in some ways. After, a couple of encounters I decided to move into the shopping centre and there she was!

I walked past the Post Office and I saw a very cute girl, lets call her HB7. Unfortunate thing was she was sat behind a bullet-proof glass window and it involved me having to line up. So I felt this was a very pressured approach.

The approach anxiety and how I overcame it

So, I basically walked straight passed the Post Office and got very bad AA and the 3-second rule was no more. I went off to look at some shops and decided to go back but my legs just stopped me before I could turn the corner or I saw the line was long. Therefore, every excuse not to approach. I did this for about 15 minutes, going back and forth. Fortunately, there was a coffee shop next door and I decided to sit down, collect my nervous energy and grab a coffee. Anyway, this is how my confidence shot up and AA decreased, I got out my phone and read some of the saved articles on Seddit, merely for motivation and re-assurance. I also that another thing, I'm also a visual learner and get motivated watching videos (I do a lot of cycling and watching videos certainly helps in those sleepy days); I watched the video called 'Seconds' and had a burst of positive energy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdymCQ5PXrs

I drank the rest of my coffee, took a couple of deep breaths and approached HB7. Now this moment I can only describe as 'time goes a little slower', heart is racing and it doesn't feel real. Luckily there was no line, so it was clear approach.

If anyone has any advice for me or can add anything more it will be welcomed!

Conversation, in the moment and confidence

So basically I was 'in the moment' here and it felt great but a little hazed at the same time, however here is the conversation we had.

Me: Hello, I don't actually want to post any letters or parcels, I just wanted to say hello.

Her: Ok, hello (smiles)

Me: Cool, my name is L, and you are?

Her: Oh, I'm HB7

Me: Anyway, I'll keep this short because I know you're working, I would like to take you out for a drink after you've finished your shift?

Her: Yes, I would like that

Then the rest of the conservation was setting up a meeting place and number close. In reflection, I'm so amazed she said yes to me and even so that I actually approached because it wasn't the most easiest of approaches. Anyway, in my moment that I found really worked was confidence, the confidence approach (if that is a technique). I wanted to appear very confident and bold towards her. I also wanted to be direct - "Me: Anyway, I'll keep this short because I know you're working, I would like to take you out for a drink after you've finished your shift?", instead of using this approach "...Would you like to go for a drink, maybe after you've finished your shift?". Also this approach involved no touching due to factors I couldn't control, so that's why I went in to appear very 'confident'.

If anyone has any more tips or similar approaches please share!

The date and k-close

A couple hours later we met up for a drink and decided to still have that confident attitude. I started teasing, touching and kino to build an attraction between us. The date went smoothly, but at times I went back to being Mr Nice Guy and stepped back the touching. After about 2 hours, we decided to call it a day and I kissed her outside. Outside, the body language I got from HB7 were crossed legs, stood in front of me and looking at my eyes. I read this as the 'that moment to kiss her' and did so.

We said 'bye' and I said I would like to see her again and she replied with just text me. In reflection I should have organised a second date there and then.

Closing thoughts

I've now texted her asking if she wants a second date, but it's been a day and no reply so I guess she flaked on me. I was direct in my text "...I'm free tomorrow night? Let's grab a bite to eat. Say meet around 7pm?" If anyone can offer any advice on this?

  • AA is a nasty thing, but I found if you collect yourself and read seddit or get motivation stuff it certainly helps
  • Confidence is important, especially when you cannot touch the HB. Be confident and be bold
  • Always approach because I could have left without knowing her answer
  • Don't be the nice guy, tease, touch and kino to build up the attraction
  • Be bold
  • Set up a second date on the first date

I've had early success from seddit but I need to get out there again and start practising after this little victory. I'm not going to take this for granted and want to hear what you guys think.